Why did all of the old statues and paintings have tiny penises?

by f3tch

Edit: and big hands?

lngwstksgk

(OP, not directed at you.)

I really shouldn't have to remind people that this is AskHistorians and we expect serious, in-depth and comprehensive responses to questions, even if they contain the word "penis." Please save your dick jokes for more appropriate venues.

Thank you.

kizhe

On the miniscule chance that this is a serious question:

Aesthetic preference re: penis size in artistic representations has been subject to a number of varying social and cultural factors over time. By "old statues" I'm guessing you mean a number of Greek works (or Renaissance works, which were influenced by those Greek works). At this time small proportional penises would generally have been considered the artistic ideal, with large members coming across as either comic or barbaric.

Consider Aristophanes' joking articulation of classical standards of male beauty in his play The Clouds:

"gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a little prick"

In short: what size qualifies as appealing in artistic representation varies from culture to culture and period to period. A lot of the more famous pieces of canonical Western art either come from or were influenced by a period which favored representing penises on the smaller side in art.