This is a bit late but... Despite the much higher mortality rates, Victorian culture surrounding grief was a lot more elaborate than we see today. Death was much more personal and "real" than it often seems today. In modern times, death results in the immediate absence of a person, but in Victorian times it was much more likely to mean the immediate presence of a dead body in your house (throughout the laying-out/wake period, before the funeral), followed by a lot of explicitly prescribed mourning etiquette.

Today we think of a 'mourning period' as a personal and abstract concept, but in Victorian times it was an entire state of being that could persist for years. Queen Victoria herself provided one of the best examples, as she remained in deep mourning for Prince Albert until her own death 40 years later.

The standard mourning period for a child was 1 full year. This would be divided between full mourning and half mourning. Full mourning meant plain, all black clothes (or black armbands), and no going out if you could possibly help it. No social engagements, and no celebrating other life events, for at least 6-9 months. After that, you would ease back into life with a shorter period of half-mourning where your wardrobe and activities would very gradually began to normalize. Obviously there were exceptions within this scope, but it was adhered to as much as possible, and enforced by the rest of society as well.

Lack of technology definitely did not prevent Victorians from trying to preserve the memories of dead loved ones. Modern memorials like facebook walls and photo collages might be new media, but it's an old impulse. Victorians had tons of death relics, and some of them were astoundingly creepy by modern standards:

• Mourning dolls were commonplace. These were life-sized effigies of dead children made with the child's own hair. These would eventually be laid on top of a child's gravesite.
• Retaining the hair of the dead for use in jewelry (brooches, lockets, etc.) was also common. Not simply a lock of hair preserved under glass (though there was that too), the hair would often be used as an artistic medium - braided to resemble a beveled stone, or arranged to resemble filigree.
• Postmortem photography (pictures of the dead person taken after they died) was also a normal practice. Sometimes family members would pose with the corpse as if it were alive; parents holding dead infants, or siblings lined up together with one corpse.
• In addition to the above, there were plenty of more innocuous things: drawings, paintings, embroidered mementos, papercraft keepsakes, and so on.

Suffice to say, the impulse to retain a record of life hasn't changed. If anything, more overall death meant more opportunities to devise methods of grieving and remembering, and more widespread acceptance of the desire to do so in really weird ways.

The biggest change to how we cope with death is probably social/emotional. While Victorians were a lot more open about their state of mourning (the black crepe), we are a lot more open in regards to expressing grief. The ability to speak freely and seek empathy or even therapy, is a lot more representative of modern times than our real or digital artifacts.