Unfortunately, this is not the subreddit for your question. We do not discuss events after 1994.

However, I can see why you're confused. Reading books like Junger's "War" and watching documentaries are clearly not going to enlighten you on these things since they only portray a very, very, very small part of a larger thing. I would recommend that you try and look up articles from the Small Wars & Insurgencies journal which features articles on modern counterinsurgency in all of its forms. There aren't many scholarly books on how counterinsurgency has been carried out in Iraq and Afghanistan, but I can look and see what I can find.