I cannot answer the vast majority of your question. I can shed some light on one very narrow aspect of it, specifically this portion:

i was just told by someone that the reason women arent able to become priests is because they cant perform the eucharist. jesus was male so the leader of that ceremony must be male.

If the person you were speaking to was Catholic, they may not understand the specificity of the Church's teaching on that issue. My reply pertains only to Catholicism.

In 1994 (so just squeaking in to the 20 year rule for this subreddit), Pope John Paul II issued Ordinatio Sacerdotalis. This was an apostolic letter that dealt specifically with this issue. In fact, as far as the Catholic Church was concerned it ended the debate on the subject. First, John Paul II referenced the words of a previous pontiff--Paul VI--who said in 1975 that the Church

holds that it is not admissible to ordain women to the priesthood, for very fundamental reasons. These reasons include: the example recorded in the Sacred Scriptures of Christ choosing his Apostles only from among men; the constant practice of the Church, which has imitated Christ in choosing only men; and her living teaching authority which has consistently held that the exclusion of women from the priesthood is in accordance with God's plan for his Church

He then referenced a document from 1977 (first published in 1976) that was created by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (or CDF). The CDF is charged with spreading and defending Catholic doctrine, so the creation of this document was meant to be an official assertion of church doctrine. The Declaration Inter Insigniores on the question of the Admission of Women to the Ministerial Priesthood is a longer explanation of the same points. To explain the aforementioned Inter Insigniores, John Paul II went back to Pius VI, "The real reason is that, in giving the Church her fundamental constitution, her theological anthropology-thereafter always followed by the Church's Tradition- Christ established things in this way."

For his own explanation, he continued:

In the Apostolic Letter Mulieris Dignitatem, I myself wrote in this regard: "In calling only men as his Apostles, Christ acted in a completely free and sovereign manner. In doing so, he exercised the same freedom with which, in all his behavior, he emphasized the dignity and the vocation of women, without conforming to the prevailing customs and to the traditions sanctioned by the legislation of the time."(5)

In fact the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles attest that this call was made in accordance with God's eternal plan; Christ chose those whom he willed (cf. Mk 3:13-14; Jn 6:70), and he did so in union with the Father, "through the Holy Spirit" (Acts 1:2), after having spent the night in prayer (cf. Lk 6:12). Therefore, in granting admission to the ministerial priesthood,(6) the Church has always acknowledged as a perennial norm her Lord's way of acting in choosing the twelve men whom he made the foundation of his Church (cf. Rv 21:14). These men did not in fact receive only a function which could thereafter be exercised by any member of the Church; rather they were specifically and intimately associated in the mission of the Incarnate Word himself (cf. Mt 10:1, 7-8; 28:16-20; Mk 3:13-16; 16:14-15). The Apostles did the same when they chose fellow workers(7) who would succeed them in their ministry.(8) Also included in this choice were those who, throughout the time of the Church, would carry on the Apostles' mission of representing Christ the Lord and Redeemer.(9)

So, the argument made by John Paul II was that it wasn't the gender of Jesus that is important in this particular matter, but rather the gender of those he chose as apostles and that this role was both chosen specifically by Jesus and that this tradition continued through those who those apostles chose. Further, it is asserted that this "did not proceed from sociological or cultural motives peculiar to his time." The pontiff refers to the aforementioned Inter Insigniores for this argument.

Finally, in the closing section of the document John Paul II left no room for debate on the topic (at least within orthodox Catholicism).

Wherefore, in order that all doubt may be removed regarding a matter of great importance, a matter which pertains to the Church's divine constitution itself, in virtue of my ministry of confirming the brethren (cf. Lk 22:32) I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful.

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Now, again, I cannot address any of the following:

• The history of female ordination
• The validity of the claims made by John Paul II, Paul VI, or the CDF
• Reformation practice in this area
• Reaction within the Catholic Church to reformation practice in this area

The only subject this post applies to is what the Catholic Church teaches on this matter. I am indeed a Catholic, but in no way should this post be taken as an attempt to proselytize. My argument is a historical one--John Paul II said the above things in 1994--the merits of his statements would be better debated in a very different forum than this one. Please take this post in the spirit in which it was created--an attempt to explain what John Paul II wrote and taught on the matter in question.