I decided to write a history fiction book on the Crimean War told through diary entries of a guy in the British Army......

by TheRedCormorant
[deleted]

Sorry, but this question is beyond the scope of this sub. This sub is for asking specific questions, and having somebody proofread your notes isn't really appropriate here. If you want to ask something more specific, feel free to resubmit that. Otherwise you can try to PM users with relevant flairs to ask for help. Or you could message the mods of /r/history to see if this would be appropriate there.