The tricky thing about answering this question is that most etiquette books of the era are aimed at the middle classes - daughters of earls would grow up learning this sort of information at home and wouldn't care what Emily Post (or similar) thought about it. The entire point of the genre was to educate people (frequently but not always women) about the standards of middle or upper middle class life when they had not been born to it. Thus the etiquette books mainly discuss what to do at breakfast if invited to stay at another middle class house or when at a hotel.

The impression I have from the show is that this is a long-standing tradition at Downtown, so I started looking in the Victorian era. I did finally find a British etiquette book of 1885 that says that in a country house, the hostess and host should make sure to eat breakfast with important guests at the family table, but with more intimate friends or relatives the hostess may eat in her room, by herself. I also found one 1905 (American) reference stating that if a family is rich enough, they theoretically could give every member a private breakfast, but this was in an article that was basically about how to deal with different temperaments and annoyances at breakfast, so I think it's more of an "oh, yeah, in a perfect world eyeroll" kind of thing.

On the whole, breakfast etiquette was for everyone to try to get down to the table at the same time out of politeness (since some hostesses would hold everybody until all guests were present), and in some cases it was not eaten directly after rising, but an hour or so later, so getting back in bed would make no sense. It seems likely to me that this was either an inaccuracy decided on for production/writing reasons, or perhaps Fellows spoke with someone who had worked at a country house (I know that at least for Gosford Park he interviewed people who had been in service) where this was an idiosyncratic tradition.

Hello everyone,

Unfortunately, we have already had to remove a number of poor quality responses in this thread, including many asking about the deleted comments, which merely compound the issue.

If you're here to answer the question, please make every effort to answer the question, not talk about the show, make jokes about baby-making time, or rail against moderators.

And, before you attempt answer the question, keep in mind our rules concerning in-depth and comprehensive responses. Answers that do not meet the standards we ask for will be removed.

Additionally, it is unfair to the OP to further derail this thread with off topic conversation, so if anyone has further questions or concerns, I would ask that they be directed to modmail, or a META thread.

Thank you!

I haven't seen much, if any of Downton Abbey I'm afraid, but given it's popularity I can imagine it being similar to a fair few estates in the North of England that I have studied, if not directly based on them.

The key thing here - and what I imagine the producers are trying to show - is that the Lady of the House has a 'Lady's Maid'.Unlike Gentlemen, who would normally receive a dedicated Valet when they were 'ready' rather than at a specific point, young women would only receive a dedicated maid upon marriage, the remuneration for whom would be down to her husband rather than father.

This maid would be responsible for things like sewing, helping dress the Lady, opening and closing windows, keeping the bedchamber neat and yes, bringing the lady breakfast in the morning. She was essentially the only person other than her husband who would see her before she was ready to leave her chambers.

By contrast unmarried women would generally not have their own maids (royalty excepted, of course), rather still having a nanny (particularly if they had younger siblings) or using the services of their favoured housemaid. Such a housemaid might bring an unmarried lady breakfast in bed, but it was not required, they had many other duties - check Mrs Beetons Book of Household Management (you can download it free online), IIRC there is a chapter 'Female Domestics' and a list of the duties within. It's pretty clear that the role was to look after the mistress first, and only when she is completely satisfied may the maid help her mistresses sisters or daughters.

In short, I imagine Downton Abbey is looking to show this position exists and exploits the breakfast scene as it would likely be the time the most conversation happened between Lady and her Maid (It was a pretty lonely job, most time would be spent alone in the chambers sewing and tidying). It wasn't so much a case of 'A married woman must not be seen having breakfast' but 'A married woman has a Lady's maid, why would she need to go down to breakfast?'.

I happen to have a copy of Etiquette by Emily Post from 1945, updated from the 1922 edition, which would be about the time of the show. In a section titled "country house and its hospitality" she speaks about guest-room service:

"In big houses, breakfast trays for the ladies are usually carried to the bedroom floor by the butler- some butlers delegate this service to a footman- and are handed to the lady's maid or else the housemaid, who takes the tray into the room. In small houses they are carried up by the waitress. Trays for men visitors are rare, but when ordered are carries up and into the room by the butler. If there are no menservants, the waitress carries up the tray. Unless breakfast is at a set time and everyone comes down promptly, the advantage of having one's guests choose breakfast upstairs is that no delayed breakfast prevents the dining room's being put in order or the lunch table set. Trays, on the other hand, can stand all morning "all set" in the pantry and interfere much less with the dining room work. Every china store carries breakfast sets, of course, but only in "open" stock patterns can one buy extra dishes or replace broken ones- a fact that is well to remember. A set always comprises a coffee or teapot, a hot milk pitcher, a cream pitcher and sugar bowl, a cup and saucer, two plates, an egg cup and a covered dish. A cereal is usually put in the covered dish, toast in a napkin on a plate, or eggs and bacon in place of cereal. This with fruit is the most elaborate "tray" breakfast ever provided. When a guest rings for breakfast, the housemaid goes into the room, opens the blinds, and in cold weather lights the fire, if there is an open grate in the room."