I'm living in ancient Egypt and I have zero artistic ability, how do I write a letter to someone using hieroglyphs?

by hahaheehaha

Did people employee artists to write notes and letters and act as scribes? I would imagine if you suck at drawing like me, you probably wouldn't be able to write anything. Especially those damn storks.

XenophonTheAthenian

Hieroglyphics were not used for things like notes and letters, generally speaking. In Middle and New Egyptian hieratic, a sort of cursive hieroglyphic script, and later demotic, a highly simplified and abstracted script derived from both hieratic and hieroglyphics was used to write the majority of documents. Hieroglyphics were reserved mostly for religious texts and inscriptions--"hieroglyphic" is from Greek ἱερογλυφικά γράμματα, "sacred writing" (from ἱερός, "holy, divine"). In Egyptian the script is called mdw-nṯr (which I wish I could write out for you in hieroglyphs, because that particular word an interesting case study in some idiosyncrasies of the written language, but I ain't got no Middle Egyptian keyboard), or "gods' speech"--again, it's a religious script above all else.

More importantly, however, normal people didn't write letters. They didn't write notes. They didn't write anything. The literate class in Egyptian society through to the end of the New Kingdom and up to the Ptolemids, when Greek takes over, was tiny and restricted to the scribes and priests, many of which were themselves scribes or simply illiterate. It took years to train a scribe, and laborious--students spent years (four years is the general formula found in the texts, but it probably took significantly longer than that--we should take that as a "basic" scribal education) copying out signs in both hieratic and hieroglyphics (and later in demotic too), then whole words, and finally entire texts, which were copied for practice over and over again. Even within tiny scribal profession (probably less than 1% of the population) probably relatively few had proper mastery over the monumental script and just stuck with hieratic. Nor should it be thought that even hieroglyphics were always written neatly and orderly. Generally they were--they were reserved for monumental inscriptions and religious texts, after all, which had better look nice--but we do find inscriptions where the scribe has gotten lazy and misaligned something, and more than a few where the scribe may not have known the script as well as he could have, and has carved (or painted) signs oddly, with bizarrely simplified forms or sometimes even incorrect signs (the various flying ducks are frequently confused, almost regularly).

But nobody wrote letters in hieroglyphics. Nobody wrote at all, actually, except a very small, extremely highly trained group of people

QuickSpore

There's very little chance that you would be literate at all. Most estimates imply that less than 5% of Egyptians had any form of literacy. Katherina Zinn in Literacy in Pharaonic Egypt even discusses how a lot of the scribes were only partially literate. They were capable of scribing certain formulaic phrases, but weren't capable of composing original independent texts on their own.

That said most letters wouldn't be written using hieroglyphics. That was a very formal style of writing that mostly used for monuments and religious texts. Common letters would more generally be written using hieratic (which was derived from hieroglyphics). Instead of a stork, the "A" sound would be written with a symbol that looks a lot like a stylized cursive U. Your letter would most likely look like this example of hieratic. You could be literate in hieratic without any ability to draw at all.