I've had this question bumping around in my head for quite some time, and it just now occurred to me that this might be the perfect place to ask! For a significant portion of human history, marriage was wielded as a tool by the powerful to unite, to bring peace, and to gain allies. For years, I've been fascinated by the idea of what this must have been like for the women being used as bargaining chips-- what it would have been like to be taken to a foreign land at the age of 13 or 17 or 20 to wed a total stranger, and likely a much older man at that! Surely no amount of preparation, no amount of being raised knowing that such a thing could happen would adequately prepare someone for that kind of transition, especially if the marriage was taking place during a time of some hostilities between nations/factions. I've also noticed that many marriages between powerful people seem to exist without a whole lot of interaction between the spouses (ie the man is away at war, etc), and have always wondered how they treated each other-- was it like a business transaction? I'm sure there was plenty of etiquette and societal expectation involved, and I'd love to hear anything you can tell me about it! Personal details and accounts seem difficult to come by, especially prior to 1400 or so (though that seems to vary depending on region and is likely influenced my own lack of research/linguistic ability). I've struggled to find source material that gives a good representation of what interpersonal relationships were really like prior to the widespread popularization of the novel and other forms of representative literature. Is anyone aware of sources that discuss the personal relationships and interactions of couples in political marriages? I'd be particularly interested in accounts from a woman's perspective, and thrilled if there was something actually discussing the initial meeting/wedding/wedding night. I'm sure I could go on and on with more specific questions, but that seems like a good start on what I would like to know!
There was one extremely successful marriage that transcended the mere political nature of it which is how it started. It had pretty much all the elements you mention, younger spouse, entirely different religion, culture and the whole 9 yards.
Mariam-uz-Zamani or Heer Kunwari, Akbar's wife was offered up as a bargain by her father, Raja Bihari Mal. Faizl in his Akbar nama is very clear that when Akbar's armies marched up to the gates of Amer, Bihari Mal had no defense and took to negotiation. One of the tokens was Her Kunwari, his daughter.
Akbar at that time had 2 other primary wives, and an educated guess is that she would have simply been relegated to the Harem - Akbar had 20 wives that we know of.
Over time though, she rose up through the harem ranks, and became one of the chief wives, and later The emperor consort, the empress of India, whose son would succeed Akbar as the emperor of India, and whose grandson would follow her son as the emperor of India.
While contemporary sources such as Faizl or Firistha do not talk directly about the love / affection these two might have had, they do mention that she was the favoured wife, the beloved of Akbar and similar expressions are used which lead us to believe that there was indeed a lot of love and affection between the two.
When you consider that she over time rose up in the Mughal court and became one of the most powerful, richest Mughals who also helped her family members gain power within the ruling circles (For instance, Raja Man Singh, a very powerful Subedar of Akbar was her nephew. Running her own business empire and most importantly, one of the few allowed by Imperial authority to issue "Firmans" (A royal decree that by mere virtue of being issued became law in Mughal India), it was a highly sucessful marriage that transcended what it started out as - a way to stave off a siege / war and a political union of sorts.
It is important also to note that, while Akbar being extremely tolerant and religion agnostic in his personal matters, let Rani Kunwari retain her Hindu religion, but allowed Hindu iconography to be kept in the royal palaces, and not only that, but Akbar was influenced by her Hindu thought and philosophy as well which later caused him to create a syncretic religion, the Din-i-Illahi.
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