That would be an extremely complicated thing to answer and I doubt my ability to give an answer that is both succinct and correct because I primarily studied lesbians in the early to mid 1900s, however, I can definitely point you to some sources that have sections that could give you a better idea of how women who loved women might interact with each other, but also (and maybe more importantly) how the world would interact and think about them. Kind of the first weird thing that you would need to know though is that lesbians as we think of them know are pretty different than their 19th century counterparts in some key ways. Most importantly homosexuality (and heterosexuality) did not really exist as a concept or as a term until the late 1800s.

The first book I could recommend would be Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of HeterosexualityJust to to kind of give yourself a starting point on how to think about society and sexuality during your time period

The next I would suggest is The Lesbian Menace: Ideology and the identity and the Representation of Lesbian Life This is another good book for helping you get situated, however, there probably is only one section that will be of any use to you in this book.

Another good one would be Interpreting LGBT History at Museums and Historic Sites which gives an overview of LGBT history in the first half including 19th century sexuality.

Another good general history book would be A Queer History of the United States

Unfortunately a lot of the stuff on the subject of homosexuality in the 19th century has been about men, so it's kind of difficult to point you to one book or article that's great on the particular subject you want, however, there are chapters in each of those books that will be helpful for you to look at