I'm not sure this is really answerable, because it rests on the assumption that when "everybody knew" that only actresses wore rouge, and etiquette books warned against the practice of wearing cosmetics, ordinary women were not actually wearing them. But the fact is that even people writing in rebuke of cosmetic use are discussing them as though they are common - so we can't tell how much is "women aren't supposed to wear makeup, but the hussies do it anyway" and how much is "good girls don't wear makeup (wink, wink)". There are certainly period sources that give the impression that there's a lot of hypocrisy in these texts, such as this article on "Rouge and Pearl Powder" in Littell's Living Age, May 1864:

Middle-class society, in Europe at least, pretty much agrees [that there is "something a little wrong in using" cosmetics, with "a flavor of immorality about it"], and though it buys cosmetics every day, and uses them every night, thinks it necessary to deny their propriety, and blame under its breath the people who visibly employ them. ... Why should a woman who may wear purchased hair without reproach, or fill up gaps in her teeth, or ruse almost any conceivable device in the way of dress, be ashamed to admit that she brightens the color on her cheek or smooths and otherwise furrowed forehead?

A number of texts imply a fairly regular use of colored cosmetics through the nineteenth century:

A Satirical View of London, John Corry, 1804:

Those irresistable arms of the ladies of London are chiefly compounded of ingenious chemical preparations. Mercury, that conqueror of the sons of pleasure, and lead, that destroyer of heroes, form the principal ingredients with which the fair sex so plentifully lacker their epidermis! ...

Our modern belles, on the contrary, have invented tints that set the assaults of time at defiance: their happy skill can adorn the palest cheek with a permanent vermeil hue, and prevent the decays of old age from becoming visible ...

The Toilette of Health, 1833:

... others of a more formidable nature, we almost hesitate to mention, as they are unquestionable the most deleterious substances with which we are acquainted. Mercury and lead manufactured in various forms, are, unhappily, ingredients too common in many of our modern cosmetics, whether they consist of lotions, creams, powders, paints, or ointments.

"Cosmetics", The Merchant's Magazine and Commercial Review, 1862:

As nothing is more flattering than the art of preserving beauty and adorning the exterior of our persons, it is not surprising that the use of cosmetics is one of the most universal practices of civilized nations. ...

ROUGES are usually made by mixing coloring matter with either of the above-named powders. ... The finest kinds are made by mixing carmine with French blanc, in different proportions ... in order to produce different shades of color, for difference complexions, from blonde to brunette.. [This article goes on at length; it's clear this was an industry.]

The Lady's Every-Day Book of 1874 contains several recipes for different types of rouge and white powder - and then, as the article in Littell's Living Age pointed out, explains that young women should shun them in favor of their natural good health and youth, and older ladies should shun them because they can never look young again. (The author also claims that American women wear more paint than English women.) Current Literature: A Magazine of Record and Review contains an article in the July 1890 issue, reprinted from the New York Evening Sun, that gives as much detailed information on contouring as a YouTube tutorial, and the section on "paints and powders" in As Others See Us, or, the Rules and Customs of Refined Homes and Polite Society (1895) gives a thunderously negative view of "white paints", then subsides to discuss the acceptable use of rouge and white powder, which to the writer is essentially what is often called "natural makeup" today - enhancement that is not quite noticeable as makeup.

So it's hard to say when makeup became standard, as a) women were societally encouraged to be beautiful throughout this whole period and b) red rouge and white powder were very available, though derided, throughout it as well - very many women may have felt that they were supposed to be brightening up their complexions with it. However, it seems likely that the use of mascara, eyeshadow, and lipstick in silent films of the 1910s and 1920s, necessary to define facial features onscreen, led to a normalization of more noticeable everyday cosmetic use. It's in the late 1920s when we start to see more blatant advertising and sales of colorful cosmetic products; note that Max Factor initially catered only to actresses and then began to branch out and sell to the public, and that Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden got their starts by aiming at clarifying and de-wrinkling the complexion rather than with anything tinted.

Follow up question: I know that in the past, in some cultures, men wore as much, if not more makeup than women. When did it become socially unacceptable (or read as queer) for men to wear makeup.