Could you maybe find images to demonstrate what you mean? I personally don't hold my cutlery like I hold a pencil, so either I'm misunderstanding your description, or this may just be a case of modern social/cultural differences rather than a historical shift. There are, for example, differences between European and American cutlery etiquette. In that case, this probably isn't the correct subreddit for the question - unless you were asking how these differences in etiquette originated.