different wines are served with different foods.

Most of the classic food and wine pairings come from the French. For example, beef and Bordeaux or Muscadet and Oysters. At a minimum a food and wine pairing should not clash. For example, most red wines completely overwhelm seafood so that would never develop into a traditional pairing. Some are simply common sense such as rich dessert wines being similar in decadence and richness to fois gras. In many cases a regional food gets paired with a regional wine because A) they dont clash and B) they were consumed in the same geographical area. An example of that would be muscadet and oysters.

Champagne and caviar are a pairing because A) they don't clash and B) they are both marketed as luxury items.

Subjectively some pairings seem to really work magic together. I remember once having some aged rhone reds with lamb. It was amazing how they combined to make something better than either by itself.

How did the Romans perceive their wine, and

A book length response would be needed to fully unpack this question. Wine was enormously important to roman culture. It was a powerful social signal for societal status, it was a key driver of long distance international trade, it was an important social lubricant for social gatherings and when talking about alcohol we should never forget that it is a drug: humans in general really enjoy altering their consciousness. The psychoactive properties of ethyl alcohol are always they key driver of why people consume it.

Its interesting reading about romans criticising the celt and german "barbarians": one of their key criticisms and evidence against the lack of culture and sophistication of the barbarians was that they did not dilute their wine and they allowed themselves to get drunk when drinking. A roman gentleman knew that a key display of cultural sophistication was drinking in moderation.

Just as it is in our own time, Romans felt certain types of wine were worthy of veneration and were rare and costly. Owning and drinking these wines was a social signal that one was a member of the elite. And just like in our own time these rare and special wines were frequently counterfeited.

During some stretches, Roman women were forbidden from drinking.

where did our "wine culture" come from?

I assume you mean the United State's wine culture. In most ways it comes from England. Wine was the drink of the social elite. Just like in rome, having rare and sought after wines was a social signal of belonging among the social elite. Just like the elite should play the right sports, like the right type of art, listen to the right type of music, they needed (and need) to drink the right type of wines. This has mostly been the wines of Bordeaux and Burgundy and the wines from these regions are the blueprint of most wine produced in the united states.

Even though drinking of wine has become "democratized" and most wine consumed is mass produced "bulk wine" it still has a societal reputation as "sophisticated". Think about how many people in our culture feel "real men" drink beer and wine is for women or wealthy people. From the earliest times in human civilization, alcohol has been one of the key social signaling tools available to us.