Deep in the hidden volcano lair of the AskHistorians mods lays the inmost sanctum. There are performed unspeakable rites of historiography and blasphemous truths stain the air. There the mods sit upon thrones of deleted posts in full panoply: iron fists, golden lightsabers, tomes filled to brim with things best unmentioned, many tentacles which writhe as one, and other raiment of power that cannot be remembered. As one they raised their voices in song and the heavens wept in terror:
We're lookin’ for a mind at work (Work, work!)
We're lookin’ for a mind at work (Work, work!)
We're lookin’ for a mind at work (Work, work!)
And yea, the song went out:
Endnotes, parenthetical citations, and no citations, all fall before /u/bloodswan . They plunge their beak and feathers deep into the corpus of Norse Literature and tear free, streaked in gore, also the mysteries of the footnote^1. Tremble before their Thought and Memory! They are non-stop!
Filth, ashcans, ugliness! Stargates! Assassin's Creed inaccuracies! /u/cleopatra_philopater fears them and suffers them not! None will gainsay the beauty and majesty of their contributions upon matters Egyptian, lest their hearts be cast to Ammit's feasting. Speak of aliens and assassins and beware, you will regret that post for the rest of your days!
Poor posts ring foul in the ears of all mods. We cry out in vengeance and /u/rimeroyal arrives, mantled in immaculate verse and astride a great codex! By retreatin' and readin' every treatise on the shelf they forged a sword of glosses and a shield of illuminations. They smite falsehoods with the glory of Medieval English Literature in an eternal April, its sweet showers of history everlasting.
Rejoice! Weep! Repent! Be merry! Welcome them! Trip over yourselves to win their praise, for eager is the hand that wields the banhammer! They will not throw away their shot. Behold the revelation! The tiger-force at the core of all things! When you cry out in your dreams, it is them you see!
They. Are. New. Mods.
I look forward to having my insufficiently deep posts removed by them.
FLEE YOU FOOLS
Welcome, and thanks for all the good work this place does. There are few places on the internet with such a concentration of expertise, and such excellent moderation to allow this expertise to shine above the dross. Thanks for the good work you guys do!
They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
And they like to hammer bans.
(just roll it from the top)
They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
I hope you understand.
(to the bridge, to the bridge, to the bridge now)
We called them up from flair-land
We said "Folks, we need new MODs"
But if you don't like what they're going to do,
You better not stop them 'cause they're coming through
(bring the beat back)
(Hey hey)
All bound for Mod Mod Land (justified!)
(Hey hey)
All bound for Mod Mod Land (justified!)
I'm putting that on my epitaph, which I'm sure I'll need a lot sooner now! Thanks y'all!
SUCKERS!
Just kidding, welcome! Sit down anywhere, but mind the pile of skulls.
Hey guys!
I am going to be one of your new censors! Prepare your comments for my tyrannical approval as I have moved on from spamming disapproval of HBO's Rome and the Roman conquest, and will now be oppressing the comments section of every question.
Wow. This here is why I don't write these announcement posts.
Welcome to the team newbies! May the culture shock of seeing what really gets posted in this sub not be too much. :)
"They could never make me an officer a mod, I don't want the responsibility"
Welcome! welcome! welcome! What a treat you are in for.
Welcome and please don't hurt me!
Ia! Ia! Modthulu ftang!
I demand to know where the tiny Justinian has gone.
Welcome! We behold your power and majesty with equal parts awe and terror.
Hail to our new overlords! May their reigns be long and glorious.
Remember - your final Literal Nazi/Cultural Marxist Stooge registration form will be arriving in the post in the next few days. PLEASE do not ignore it. If it is not filled out correctly and returned promptly, you could face significant delays in receiving your membership pack (including branded baseball cap, tote bag, USB drive and pens), your monthly stipend from the Secret Council of the Globalist World Order and your Subway discount card.
Congratulations and we look forward to secretly puppet-mastering the world with you!
I honour our new lords and bow to their enormous puissance. What, oh lords of all that is accurate, do you demand as sacrifice from we lowly mortals?
Congratulations and commiserations!
Meed the new Mods. Same as the old Mods...
Yay!