I've been having a difficult time even getting my feet off the ground. I've been trying to get an Associate's Degree in general History for 4 years! I know the material of my classes inside and out, I just screw up my time management, then panic, and shut down. This semester was mostly "C"s and last semester I had to withdraw from all my classes because I couldn't take it. My GPA is 2.90 out of 4 because of this, and I now I wonder if the ship has sailed to be a historian.
I love Medieval History and was planning to major in it once I graduate.Then move to Europe doing what I love most, learning.
I need some professional advice. Do I still have what it takes? What do I need to do to fix this situation if there is a chance? Do colleges care how long it takes to get a Associate's Degree? What about future work places in Europe (inc. British Isles)? On a lighter note, where seems like the best place for a Medievalist to work? Teaching isn't my thing, so I imagined working in a museum or medieval castle.
(Please be as honest but sincere as you can. Thank you.)
Trained medieval historians working in the field of medieval history tend to be: professors, research librarians, auction/antiquities specialists, elite high school teachers (history, Latin, literature), museum curators. The uniting factor in these professional careers is that today, they basically require a PhD in a specialty (literature, history, etc). For grad school admission in the U.S., universities--not individual departments--generally set a lower limit of a certain GRE score and a 3.0 undergraduate GPA.
If you are able to start over with a clean slate and address your anxiety issues that have hobbled you so far, you could probably make a case to a graduate admissions committee that your upward trajectory (assuming you achieve this) is better evidence for your academic potential than your first years of undergrad. It would probably be useful for you to apply to terminal master's programs first (M.A. history; M.A. medieval studies) rather than shooting directly for a PhD right away. This will give you a chance to prove you are capable of handling graduate-level work in history, and especially medieval history.
If you want to go further with medieval, you should start taking Latin classes as soon as possible.
Of course--a lot of people really love medieval history, a lot of people even get graduate degrees in it, and not a lot of people work professionally in the field. You can absolutely be a "lover of the Middle Ages" and a grassroots medievalists, with another job, without all that formal university training. The best way to go about this is to just dig in and read. Read academic books from university publishers. The AskHistorians booklist is a great place to start, or you can ask your professors at school for the foundational literature in the field.
Peter Brown, The Rise of Western Christendom; R. A. Southern, The Making of the Middle Ages; Robert Bartlett, The Making of Europe; and Ruth Mazo Karras, Doing Unto Others: Sexuality in Medieval Europe would be great places to start.
Even more than we need professors and curators, medieval history needs people who love it, who talk about it, who get other people enthusiastic about it on a day-to-day basis, just in ordinary lives. You can do that. You won't even have to wait!