#6 of Renaissance Europe’s Most Mindblowing Sex Positions!
If a pagan “marathon session” is on your sexual bucket sin list, here's what you need: a big chunk of free time, lack of church-approved morality, plenty of stamina, and buckets of lube olive oil. Grab a cup of water ale, and get back in there.
Are you looking to get it on like your ancestors? Are you looking to bring the “rebirth” back into your sex life? Are you a dirty little classicist with a love of engravings and erotic poetry that would have circulated amount upper-class literate white men, but somehow still get the pope to send an assassin after your ass? WELL THEN WE HAVE THE MINDBLOWING LIST FOR YOU
Get it on all classics-style like a real husband and wife. Our handy married couple Paris and Oenone show us a real classic. The accompanying poem pairs like fine wine:
He: Lets’ fottere [fuck], my love, let’s fottere, Since all of us were born only to fottere. You adore the cazzo[cock] and I the potta [pussy]. The world would be nothing without this act. If it were proper to fottere after death, I’d say let’s fottere ourselves to death, Then we could fottere Adam and Eve, Who died such a dishonourable death. She: Truly, if those truants hadn’t eaten that treacherous apple in the garden, Lovers would long ago have quenched their lust. But let’s stop chatting. Stick your cazzo in So that it reaches my heart, and crush the soul That lives or dies issuing from he cazzo. He: Don’t leave out my balls [don’t stop my orgasm] – Take [it] inside the potta, those witnesses of every extreme pleasure
Maybe you want to get some real rebelliousness upon you and let a lady like Angelique showing Medor some creativity. A real expert comments that
I believe this is a tastier feat Than eating garlic bread before a fire If you dont like the potta, try the back way. A real man has to be a bugger.
Speaking of buggers, Julia the elder shows some real athleticism with this athlete's position, after all,
Dear lady, not at all. The Potta sates the cazzo, Hence little pleasure's to be had there ...however, since you want my cazzo in your cul. As fashionable minds prefer today, Do with my sex whatever you fancy.
But what can we say about all those things? Some of the most creative positions can be just as satisfying if you dont mind a little of both, a Hercules is unafraid to say to Deianira
Rest your leg upon my shoulder Lift your hand from my sex ...if my cazzo should accidently drill the cul. Instead of the potta, call me a rogue, Since I can tell the two apart As a horse recognizes a mare.
True creativity and adventurousness like that of Bacchus and Ariadne is to be admired though difficult to do at home
You little prick! Dont keep pulling the cart ...forced to lean on my arms and legs I curse you for this clumsy position A mule would conk over after an hour of it That's why you hear me farting thunderously.
But, sometimes we just need to bring it home and recognize the true sincerity of the originals, Mars and Venus, because and because we live in a world where women deserve pleasure too:
Mars, you Malatesta-like coward, you shouldn't push a woman under you like that One shouldn't fottere Venus with blind fury But, instead, be measured and polite.
(See a full album of illustrated classics here. Poetry translations from Lynne Lawner's translation of I Modi. First paragraph shamelessly edited from cosmos article here.)
