We're currently reading the Canterbury Tales in our class, and in many of the tales (but specifically the knight's tale), chivalry is portrayed as treating love as war. The woman didn't get a say whatsoever, and the man was controlling absolutely, almost winning her through sport. The Wife of Bath points this out in her tale, showing a chivalric knight seeing a beautiful maiden and... raping her.

Is this how it actually was in the middle ages, or is Chaucer exaggerating for literary purpose?