Did they have a way to inform the families of soldiers about their death in any sort of dignified way? Did they only figure it out when the soldier never came home?
You would like this post 'How did the wives of roman soldiers learn of their husbands deaths?' from five years ago answered by /u/celebreth .
Roman soldiers were banned from marriage.
Military campaigns for the Roman military worked in completely different ways than for modern day militaries. For the Americans, we deploy for 6 to 14 months, then we come back home to our families and such before gearing up for another go in a year or so. We also usually sign on for a short period of time, the average service member serving for less than 8 years. For the Romans, you joined for life, or at least for 25 years until retirement. During that time, the Empire basically owned you. You went on campaigns that could take years, even a decade or so, and often, you would be left behind to serve as the garrison force that maintained the peace after conquest.
It was during this time that Caesar Augustus basically just said, “Screw TriCare. They just can’t get married.” It was a remarkably efficient way of cutting drama and binding soldiers to the state, rather than giving them ties to some anchor far away… even if it was kind of a dick move.
During that time, obviously, there were many who took local women and populated the countryside with their bastard children, but being that these children weren’t legally recognized as children of the soldier, because he wasn’t allowed to marry in the first place, they had no obligation to the family. After their service ended, many married those they’d been living in a 'civil union' with all along and made honest women out of them before heading to wherever it was they were to go to spend their retirement. Others just made for home with nothing but a wave and a “thank you for your services” to their lovers and the dozen half-Roman mongrels they left behind.
Interestingly, the Roman military didn’t mind recognizing these kids when it came time of adulthood though, as the children of garrison soldiers made up a significant percentage of the Roman military due to recruitment and the promise of citizenship.