My grandfather was born and raised in Hungary and has lived a very full life. He’s now in his 80’s and had a small health scare a couple months ago (he’s ok) which among other reasons has inspired me to sit him down and record as much as he’s willing to share about his experiences.

I’m interested in any tips that you all have to share about interviewing primary sources. One area that I wish I had more info about was on the format: is it generally more effective if I set it up as an organic conversation or if I had prewritten questions? If the latter, what types of questions should I ask? Should I ask questions in order of years, or should I organize it in a different way? However if you have other information beyond this scope that would be helpful, I’d appreciate it.

If it’s at all helpful, I’ll provide a general overview of what I know already. My goal is to both learn more about his life, as what we all know comes from little stories told over dinner once in a while, and to also record what we already know in a way that preserves his memory.

Thanks for your help!

My grandfather was raised in Esztergom during the war. He is the youngest of 4 brothers and the son of a “police officer” (not sure of his exact title). My Great Grandmother apparently made dough for a local baker to make some side money. He worked for a time as an alter server and was confirmed by (according to him) Cardinal Mindszenty. There’s several stories from his youth that we know about, such as the time he almost burned down his house by playing with a bomb fuse left over from the war that would be worth talking about during the interview.

When he was 16 he worked in a coal mine. (He knows the name but it’s in Hungarian and I’d have to write it down since I don’t speak it) By this time the war was over and Hungary was a communist state. One story that he likes to talk about a lot was the time that the mine collapsed and he was left for dead, but he found his way out and was awarded a day off.

From here my grandfather and my Great uncle István find their way to Budapest. I think their uncle or someone had a position in the city government and probably found them a job. At some point the revolution began and my grandfather and his brother were caught in the middle of it.

My grandfather has mentioned several things from this period such as how he and some people took over a police station, how he heard a politician speak to a crowd (I think Imre Nagy but I’m not sure), and how his brother got shot in the foot. This last one is pretty significant for the family because he was apparently one of the first to be shot when the Soviets came, so he and my grandfather were taken by ambulance out of the city (or to a safer place) and avoided much of the chaos.

From here my 19 year old grandfather got it in his head that they should leave the country. He definitely had knowledge of the West because he talks about how the radios back then would talk about how the Americans would come to the rescue very soon. His journey to Austria was like many others: he and my great uncle István hired a guide who made them pay all their money, then he, my aunt, uncle, their infant daughter, and other families broke through the barbed wire, hid in haystacks, and slowly made their way into Austria.

I think they spent some time in Austria because he mentioned the other day that his brother worked for a time in a shop in Innsbruck that made those iconic tiled furnaces who’s name I forgot. Eventually they decided to go to America and somehow were collected from Europe and taken to the US. They stopped for a time in Iceland, but then were taken to a refugee camp in America. Here my Grandfather met VP Nixon and shook his hand. To this day he still regards him as a good president.

From here my grandfather started his life in America. He gave up coal mining to become an upholsterer and eventually a house builder. Eventually he married a Hungarian lady, but divorced her not long after. (This story is wild too, apparently her father was a counterfeiter and in general a maniac) He met my grandmother and settled down.

He recently opened up about his regrets on leaving Hungary. My other uncle and my Great grandparents still lived in Hungary and my grandfather had no knowledge of English or much about American culture upon arriving. (For example, one story that he likes to tell was when he tried hitting on a waitress at a diner but found out from her that she thought he was gay because he held his friend’s hand upon entering the restaurant, which is apparently what male friends in Hungary did at the time.) I think I might ask some questions about this too, so any advice about this would be great in addition.

There’s a lot of missing info, and I think it’s not all just because it was ~60 years ago. For example my dad thinks that my grandfather is intentionally withholding information, but I’m not sure myself because we’ve never sat him down and had him talk for a long time about his life before.

Like I said at the top, any tips are appreciated. Thanks for reading and sorry if this sounds like a rambling mess