I know that Washington and Jefferson were... frenemies, to use an anachronism; and that Jefferson had said and written things about Washington that Martha found objectionable. And, to host someone for purely political purposes who spoke poorly about a loved one after that loved one had passed away would be difficult. But, was the visit itself a complete disaster, or was it salt in the wound? Was Jefferson rude to her, or boorish in general? What would make his company so intolerable that a visit would rank worse than the death of -at that time- 3 of her children?