So here's the thing. I'm the realest Realist Realpolitik has had in centuries, and the most accomplished diplomat since Machiavelli. However, my PR people seem to think that the title I had in mind for my next book, Operation Condor was a great idea amongst other successes, may be a bit controversial in the Latin American, middle Eastern, far Eastern, East European and African markets.
They suggested that I asked some so-called experts, so here I am. Listen. The free world^TM was at war with communism. When you're the righteous one in the fight, you can't let an insignificant thing like a people's right of self-determination get in the way of crushing the enemy. So what if a few, maybe forty dictators, spies and enhanced interrogators were inserted in Latin America alone via the School of the Americas? The Communists meddled in other countries too! Isn't that the argument everyone uses to defend the US' defense policies? Since the other ones did bad things as well, our atrocities don't count.
But hey, I'm not getting any younger and I want to sell more books, so I'll try to keep an open mind. What do you historians think? Am I the asshole for not acknowledging my role in the orchestration of destabilization in every single continent during my tenure as Secretary of State?
NTA. You seem perfectly reasonable, in fact I think you deserve a present, get in touch and my people can help arrange an all-expenses paid vacation to the Netherlands, I know some folks there who would really like to meet you
NTA. If colonialism showed us anything, its that messing with a nation's local power structures through extreme violence always leads to stable, functional democracies. I think it's your duty, no, your burden to enlighten these savage people to the true path of capitalism. If a few of them die along the way it's only because they hated freedom and democracy.
YTA, gringo de mierda conchadetumadre!
NTA you spread hope and democracy and freedom everywhere you go, and anyone who says otherwise is a damned Communist!
NTA, do they give the Peace Prize to assholes? It would one-up every political satirist out there to give the Peace Prize to an Asshole.
YTA Hardcore. Just jumped right to "destabilize everyone". Didn't even try anything else first! What about a giant, fully operational battle station? What about sharks with lazers on their heads? So many not boring options.
NTA - ignore all of those soft-bellied liberals like Tony Lake who blather on about abstractions such as “human rights,” “morality,” and “bugging your own staff.” By the way, when can we expect to read your follow-up on your most recent publication; that is, Kissinger on Kissinger on Kissinger?
I, el Gran Libertador, place a curse on you and your descendants: for overthrowing all of my hard work by plunging my beloved América into a neoliberal nightmare; you shall burn in 9 fires of hell, and all your designs turn to dust in your hands.
Or as I said back in 1823:
Never trust those malditos Yankees! (S Bolívar)
(YTA)
YTA gringo codicioso
INFO: Did you make an effort to limit the proxy wars to war against communists and your support to those fighting for liberalism? What about direct action? You didn't, say, get involved in something stupid like carpet bombing countries you weren't at war with, did you?
NTA fuckin commies
I can't believe they spoiled the good reputation of your peace prize by giving it to pro-democracy brown people
shame
Sees username
YTA.
YTA. It's your fault there are so many paramilitary groups in Central America. When you train people to kill and torture others, what else are they supposed to do when the war is over? Most of them are capitalist because they want to sell drugs, good for you. You should've spent more money on a "Marshall Plan" for Central America instead of weapons.
Huh? You're mumbling. Speak more clearly. And sit up, your posture is terrible!
NTA. It’s not like you payed for it by importing and selling crack to your own country. That would be a real asshole move.
ESH.
Sounds reasonable, not AITA. And it’ll never come back to bite you in the ass.
NTA. You’ll show those stupid communists with their “health care for all” what a sickness socialism can be for society.
Who needs to be alive when you’ve got unfettered capitalism and freedom?????
So NTA. You can’t rule wrong if all slaves are dead.
YTA. However isn't this US policy to present day? Surprised it's not in the constitution
NTA. Especially in light of your more recent endeavors to help promising women to revolutionize the medical field with technology those same so-called experts say is impossible.
NTA The Soviets are already funding all sorts of proxies so why not join in the fun. Also disappearing thousands of people? Good sir are you employing reds count as people?
Not a single Venture Bros reference?!? Seriously, people? You disappoint me, Reddit. ESH, ESH, I say!
ESH IMO