I raised a battalion of women to serve Mother Russia in the war, which was hoped would spur our soldiers into battle. I won my fight against committees in my battalion - I would have nothing to do with them. I argued with deserters, trying to make them see that we could not end the war until we had first made some gains. Victory is the only way to peace. They cursed and jeered at me.

At the front our corps received orders to go over the top, but when the signal came the men hesitated. Instead of obeying the traitors sat debating their orders. Debating! This is why I would have no committees.

I thought surely if these men would not watch girls struck down in No Man’s Land without following, that we need only set an example to the laggards. Joined by officers who knew their duty, we decided to advance and made great progress driving the enemy back, but the scoundrels still left us unsupported. We were forced to retreat rather than be surrounded, losing all the ground we’d gained on behalf of Mother Russia.

Since returning from the front, I have endured much abuse from those who blame us for drawing the war out. Even as I await a decision on my fate, I am endlessly tormented by the soldiers and sailors I am confined with. I have not slept in weeks, but the warder refuses to give me a private cell! Surely I’m not the asshole here.