We (28M) are mourning the unexpected death of our most gentle queen and beloved wife (28F). During the funeral, one of our noble subjects (48M) had the gall first to interrupt the service by arriving late and furthermore to ask us if he might be allowed to leave early. We responded to this impudent request by promptly seizing a rod from an attendant and striking the malefactor in the face with it until his blood flowed freely and he fell stunned. (Supposedly, we are not convinced.) Should we have reserved our royal judgment and righteous vengeance until a more convenient time?

We are not the type of monarch who accepts such insults willingly and as God's chosen representative on earth, surely we possess some degree of discretion regarding the punishment of our subjects for their misdeeds. Our beloved wife, most excellent and dutiful of all women, was ever merciful and meek, but were she alive to see such a flagrant insult against her late person we are sure she would have expired from shame on the spot. As an imperial princess in her own right and the perfect flower of a noble and gracious family, she would understand the necessity of quick and decisive action in defense of our royal dignity. Now our own extended family are lamenting and bewailing such a violent act on sacred ground, the necessity of reconsecrating Westminster Abbey, delaying their dinner plans, etc.

Are We The Asshole?