Walter Scott is not too far from the truth when he writes the following paragraph in his historical novel Ivanhoe (1820):

The shouts of the multitude, together with the acclamations of the heralds, and the clangour of the trumpets, announced the triumph of the victors and the defeat of the vanquished. The former retreated to their pavilions, and the latter, gathering themselves up as they could, withdrew from the lists in disgrace and dejection, to agree with their victors concerning the redemption of their arms and their horses, which, according to the laws of the tournament, they had forfeited. -- Chapter VIII.

I would argue, however, that tournaments didn't follow their own laws but that they actually followed the chivalric code of war! Indeed, jousts and tournaments were nothing like sporting tournaments. I get the feeling from your phrasing that you expect knights to face each other off until there's only two of them left for a great finale. However, jousts and tournaments were more like true exercices of warfare during peace times than anything else. It was a way to make war without declaring it.

By the end of the 15th century, jousts and tournaments became heavily ritualized and participants were advised to wield non-lethal weapons but such was not yet the case during the 13th and 14th century.

As in regard of shame, there were little to none if you "lost" in a jousting event or in a tournament. The only one and true shame would have been to refuse to participate unless you were already at war or on a crusade. Also, the only way to be definitevely eliminated from a tournament or from jousts would have been to die during the event. Otherwise, the goal of such event was to "capture" the opponent or to force him to admit defeat in order to put him to ransom, pretty much like it could be done on an actual battlefield.

Let's give it all more context, shall we?

Jousts and Tournaments: What Were They?

As stated, they were not sporting events. They were true moments of warfare, at least until the first half of the 15th century. During the second half of the 15th century, jousts and tournaments became heavily ritualized and death was an unlikely outcome. When Henry II of France died from a jousting event in 1547, it was a most tragic accident. In contrast, if Boucicaut had died during the jousts of Saint-Inglebert in 1390, people would have figured it was a risk he'd been more than willing to take. As a matter of fact, he was allegedly put on bed rest for nine days before he could return to the jousts.

Jousts and tournaments were also two differents things. A tournament was a warlike battle between two opposing groups of knights, fighting on horses with swords on a delimited area. Each group had to capture as many opposing knights as possible and put them to ransom. It was deemed a very noble exercice since they were fighting with swords, a most noble weapon. However, it left little room for individual prowess. That's what jousts were designed for. Knights would face each other, individually, either on foot or on horse, according to well-defined pre-established rules and surrounded by expert witnesses: a high lord (king or prince), other experienced men-at-arms, heralds, minstrels, ladies. Of course, tournaments could also be done in front of an audience.

Quantitative studies show that jousts and tournaments were more often organized from winter to spring when war came to a standstill on most years. The Great Lent was often fully booked for such military events. They were also held at weddings, baptisms or other religious celebrations.

Who Would Participate in Jousts or a Tournament?

The people who participated in jousts and tournaments were actual knights, meaning people who actually fought wars. They were skilled warriors. They often served as ranking officers within their lord's army. That's why they required a formal authorization to attend such events. More often than not we see mighty dukes, kings or princes ordering a fight to stop and call it a draw because they don't want to lose their elite men-at-arms in the process of a joust or a tournament.

Eccliastic authorities didn't have much regard for jousts and tournaments but the urban bourgeoisie held its own warlike events, aspiring to live up to the standards of the nobility. Sometimes we find knights and burghers participating to the same event! It is quite rare, though, and certainly not the norm. The peasantry had its own military tournaments. Archery tournaments were often held in England and France and we have found several instances where kings actually prohibited other kind of "games" that would or could distract the population from the daily practice of archery.

It wasn't too rare that young knights would partake on a long journey accross Europe to fight as many jousts or tournaments they could. They'd often join in on actual wars too. The famous Reisen in Prussia against the Pagans was a hotspot of chivalric "tourism" if we can allow ourselves a little anachronism.