Hearken to me readers and contributors of AskHistorians for I bring you tidings! Today we, the AskHistorians moderators, your benevolent dictators friends, accept new members into our exalted ranks of comment removers and behind the scenes drudgers! In the high hallowed halls of our secret cabal, filled with smoke, mirrors, and ban-hammers we the AskHistorians mods have passed a new doom upon the land, and decreed that more lackeys valued contributors should rise to a new station and be given the keys to the kingdom.
Our decree thus follows:
In the interest of further preserving the strict no fun allowed policy high standards of our subreddit, we have deemed several new mods to be established herein who shall reign over the lands of our demesne, given in our grace, to our valued vassals.
May we all join together in fealty and gratitude to welcome:
/u/historiagrephour our Scottish historian extraordinaire, who shall sound off in the threads with raucous pipes and critical examination of early modern gender roles!
/u/DGBD who brings their musical talent to add to our own concerto and be heard across the subreddit!
/u/hellcatfighter adds their own knowledge of China and Japan to weave into our expertise!
and /u/Steelcan909! (What do you mean I'm announcing myself and speaking in the third person? I don't think our new mod would appreciate that kind of talk!)
Should any infringe upon this, our generous gift, may they be bound by the inextricable bonds of being hit with the banhammer and cast out, or the more greater, make amends through excessive begging and supplication!
Congratulations to the new moderators!
I welcome you!
I look forward to seeing all the new threads with [Deleted]
Should the community start shitposting so that the moderators have a fun first day on the job?
I promise to only use this power for evil.
Welcome, new mods, and thank you, all mods, for everything you do here.
Nervously eyes the "Post" button, since I have no sources for this....
All hail to the new ring bearers who join us in bravely defending the trenches!
"Reddit gathers and now our watch begins.
I shall take no karma, win no best of, and fight actual nazis.
I shall wear the moderator tag and win no glory.
I am the banhammer in the darkness.
I am the watcher of the threads.
I am the fact checker that burns against the bad history, the light that brings the [removed], the shield that guards the sub of history.
I pledge my user and honor to AskHistorians, for this thread and all the threads to come."
I didn't get much sleep last night, so one last huzzah for sleep exhaustion! Now time to make merry and have ourselves a shindig!
Mods for the mod god.
I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
The year is 405 BCE : I'm a Moderator in Ancient Sparta. What does my life look like ? How do I deal with the envy and jealousy this prestigious position attracts ? Is my banhammer made of bronze or iron ?
And more importantly, how does all this influence my sex life ?
To the mod with the mousy hair
But Gankom is yelling no
And zhukov has told her to go
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the computer screen
But the sub is a saddening bore
For she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on
POOOOOOOOOOOSTERS fighting in the top thread
Oh man, look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the modman
removing all the wrong posts
Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Askhistorians?
Finally I can ask: What was the reaction of the Meiji royal house to the presumable introduction of bagpipes to Japan in the 19th century?
With great power comes a bigger banhammer.
O Great GMods, new and old: please accept this sacrifice of a primary source about Greek theatre, and in return hear and accept my prayer for another year of fruitful answers, no removals or bans toward me and my family, and continued excellence in education and moderation.
Mods with two legs good; mods with four legs bad.
Fly, you fools!
Do you mods have a running tally of who has removed the most comments? Can we get a yearly coronation for Remover king/queen?
How did Hitler feel about mods?
I have but one demand for the new guys: stay overly tight assholes.
It's the one thing that makes the place thrive. Remove posts and comments without hesitation. Make hell on non-sourcers, speculators and memers.
Other than that, welcome! :D
*Raises flagon of ale*
All hail the new moderators of the land! May their hammers cut a swathe through the posts, yet let many a fine answer sprout in the threads of new. Hail! (drinks)
Man this sub is going to turn into some larp shit soon
What the Comment removed by moderator did you just say about me you unflared user? I will have you know I graduated top of my class at some university you never heard of, and I have been involved in numerous secrets raids on /r/askhistorians, and I have over 300 confirmed Comment section purges. I am trained in anti wild speculation moderation and I'm the top of my class in pressing the delete button within the entire askhistorians mod team. You are nothing to me but another comment. I will wipe you off of this earth with citations the likes of which has never been seen before in academia. Critically interpret my words. You think you can get away with saying that on this on subreddit? Think again, non PhD. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mods across reddit and your lack of citations is being traced right now so you better prepare for the pruning. The pruning that wipes out your pathetic ill argued thing you call your comment. You're uncivil language deleted, kid-do. I can be online anywhere, anytime, and I can ban you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with the subreddit rules. Not only am I extensively trained in being able to read, but I have access to the entire arsenal of this bookshelf with books I can barely afford but we wont talk about, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ill informed keyboard mashing attempt off the face of the internet, you unsolicited research paper. If only you could have known what well informed retribution your overly short comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have untyped your typing. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you David Irving Citation. I will left click fury all over you and you will not be able to post anymore in it. You're banned, kid-do.
Was Mods = Gods a cause of the reformation?
Congratulations to the new moderators. This is by far the best subreddit on the website and your hard work and [deleted] make it all possible! Thank you and good luck.
I for one welcome our new overlords
I want to take this opportunity to thank all of the mods of this amazing subreddit, both new and old, for all of the work they put into upholding the incredibly high standards that the rest of us get to enjoy the benefits of.
I ❤️ you all.
Were there mods in caveman times? If so, how many precisely and did they know about dinosaur bones?
Mods for the Mod God! Blood and souls! Skulls for the skull throne!
This is my one chance to post in this subreddit without it getting removed. Welcome lowly noblemen and women! May your reigns be unjust and short!
Best of luck to all four of our new benevolent overlords and thank you for taking on this task.
Good luck and may your banhammer be used with extreme prejudice against the Nazis.
After reading Seasmus Heaney's Beowulf, I always read "hwæt" as "so" now. Which really changes the tone of this announcement in a way I dig.
I for one welcome our new overlords...
"I never asked for this crown. Gold is cold and heavy on the head, but so long as I am the mod, I have a duty . . . If I must sacrifice one shitposter to the flames to save a million from the dark . . . Sacrifice . . . is never easy, Modvos. Or it is no true sacrifice. Tell him, Zhukov."
Wait,...new mods? I was never asked. I mean I'm in no way qualified and only have the most rudimentary knowledge of even my own history but still a fella likes to at least be asked.
Edit, Oh and congratulations to the those of you who where qualifed and made the cut, don't forget you used to be one of the peasants.
Hwaet a minute, who approved this?! Nah, I kid, welcome welcome beneficent overlords, good luck keeping the rabble (and also unflaired users too, I guess) in line!
Since this is one of the few places I'd be able to do it -- thanks to the /r/AskHistorians mod team and everything you do! Your work keeps this sub one of the best places on Reddit. 🙂 May the new members continue this tradition!
And my favorite sub grows ever stronger. The strict moderation on this sub is fantastic and never fails to get good information to the top. It's like being in university again with experts from all areas I love it.
Heh. Suckers.
<3
Best of luck to all of you!
Are we ever going to see where you all the comments go?
All it ever says is they've been moved again, never where to.
I'm guessing u/steelcan909 refers to submarines? Are you a naval warfare historian? That could be fun
stomp stomp r/askhistorians mods live stomp stomp
Congratulations to those who have received the new investiture of the 🔨!
Most epic mod introduction ever
Welcome, Comrade Moddissars! We sincerely hope that you help uphold the strict discipline expected at /r/AskHistorians, and serve to shoot malingerers remove comments by ill-informed people and historical revisionists.
No but seriously, glad you guys are here. Y'all are what makes /r/AskHistorians the best subreddit on reddit.
Congrats to new mods, thank you guys for all the work you do!! I know it would probably go against the spirit of this subreddit but someday I'd like to hear tales from the mods on the ridiculous questions and comments they have to remove. The moderation in here is absolutely second to none.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we got 'em!
as long as this results in similar levels or more frequent comment deletion, I am supportive.
Hail, mods, those who are about to be removed salute you!
I appreciate the self aware humor.
I've been browsing this sub for years, and you mods always do a great job keeping the quality top notch. Welcome new guys and hope to see you in the threads :D
May your [deleted] be swift and your banhammer be just. Welcome and thank you for taking the time to contribute to this great sub
Congratulations, and good luck all!
This sub is so Hwæt right now!
Remove my comment if you don't love me 😕
Toss a coin to your mod! Congratulations one and all!
Hwæt! Skild mods! Welcone, new mods.
WOOOO! Congrats! Vikings4Steelcan! And for the rest of the new (and old) mods, too!
Sometimes I see a highly upvoted interesting questions here with all the answers removed. Please do something about it. Thnx
I, for one, welcome our benevolent overlords strict guardians of content.
Huzzah!
New Mods! Let's throw a party! There will be Tea!!!!
^(secretly) ^prepares ^hemlock ^for ^the ^mods' ^tea
I'm just jealous; I'm years from being able to make a non-deleted answer let alone a modship. Congrats to our new benevolent overlords
Welcome new mods! Ves heill!
Is pewdiepie Hitler or related to Hitler in any way?
Ave imperatori, te morituri te salutant
[Expunged]
Here to say how much I love the contrast between the extremely strict moderation and how fun any of the off-standard posts are. Welcome new mods!
Huzzah! Thank you for your good work!
Finally I can post my opinion about history without repercussions!
Since this is the only post I'll ever be qualified to comment in, I just just want to say: "Great job, great sub! I love the strict standards" and "Damn... you guys sure are kept busy with all the deleting.".
Welcome new mods. Thanks for the work you will do keeping this as one of the best subs on Reddit. Y'all rock.
PS: I really dig the style of the post OP.
þæt wæs god modding!
I propose the instead of [deleted] you make it so that removed posts say [redacted] instead.
Welcome! We are so happy that you are here!~
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
That's why I love this sub. Awesome answers to interesting questions and every one's and a while hilarious shit like this.
Good luck to the new mods.
I pledge fealty to our new overlords! *raises mead horn*
Welcome new mods! I am still waiting on an answer from a question I asked seventeen years ago that doesn't look like [Deleted] so maybe now I will get some traction!
Glad to have you. The thread was hilarious. Keep up the good work.
I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate the fact the information I am reading is vetted to some standard.
I read this announcement with the Smash Bros theme used in the "Joins the Battle" character introductions lol
Upvote for the letter ash.
Congratulations 🎊
Wait, who's studied Old English now?
Hwæt is the name of Elon's next kid
Welcome!!!
Finally I can ask! After his successful crossing of the channel with the 70,000 men who crushed Wellington's army at Waterloo, why did Napoleon only march as far as Tunbridge Wells before turning round and returning home?
I'll be telling my grandkids the story of my first top -level comment in /r/AskHistorians
New Mods must answer me these questions three;
Hwæt is your favorite colour?
Hwæt is your quest?
Hwæt... is the average flight speed of an unladen sparrow?
I love this subreddit so much. You guys are insane lol
I'm marginally disappointed that you didn't write the entire post in poetic Old English.
Gabba gabba, we accept you, we accept you, one of us.
Finally, an opportunity to post a top-level comment here that won’t get deleted (mods please).
Welcome most valued vassals of the Kingdom. You who are about to die, we salute you.
Welcome, new mods!
Mods = Gods
Holy shit I'm so excited to see what happens!
What does Hwæt mean? I remember seeing it in Beowulf I think.
All hægl the mods! Long live the mods!
Welcome, welcome, dear new Mods!
Scotsman, War, famine and Death. Got it. Hail!
Yeehaw
[Dihapus]
[maaf komentar anda telah dihapus oleh moderator kami]
Oooh music historians ftw! I’ll definitely have to think of some questions :)
[Banned]
I don't care
Thank God! It was so frustrating dealing with the arrogance. Nothing ever seemed to get answered because youe seemed to need a doctorate in how to write a thesis in said subject to be able to answer it.
Reddit is not Berkley
I for one cannot wait for the flood of really fascinating questions whose answers have all been deleted.
Does this mean that when I see an interesting question and open the thread there will be actual responses, and not just a blank, with the note that everything else has been removed by the moderators?
