Whenever I read about Europe in the middle ages or renaissance period, there is usually talk of how high of a dowry a bride comes with, and that the higher it is, the better of a match she is likely to get.

But I just can't wrap my head around how such a system would make sense. Historically it's usually the women that's 'sold and bought'. Because they weren't allowed to work or inherit and their only value was in their reproduction ability.

It would make much more sense to me if it was the bride that was bought (and thus the bride's parents that receive dowry money), rather than the other way around. It kind of evens things out. You want boys to inherit and for labor. But for every boy you have you'd have to pay for their bride, so you can't afford too many. Girls on the other hand are then a way to earn money. Essentially, for every daughter you have, you can afford a bride for your son.

But if it's the daughters that you also have to pay for... How was having daughters anything but a complete disadvantage? Sure, by marrying them off you'd no longer have to pay for their living expenses, but that probably isn't much of a gain compared to the dowry you'd have to pay for them. So why would anyone marry off their daughters instead of keeping them all? In that way you'd at least get something back for it, by having them do household labor for you. While marrying them off would only cost you. And if no one is 'selling' their daughters, where would anyone get a bride?

I just don't understand how bride dowry's was a viable system at all. How did it maintain for so long?