Before the mid-1900s, did people have girlfriends? or did they just know someone and then ask to marry,

by holivegnome

I know it might sound stupid but in a lot of books/movies, I have seen instances where a man knows a woman for a while and then he just proposes. I know books/movies aren't always historically accurate but I just find it strange how they just propose out of nowhere.

kinkyknickers96

According to the book, Love of Labor, which examines a history of courting turning into dating, yes. The book as a whole describes how the economy and industrial capitalism has changed how love is pursued throughout the last 100+ years.

The book describes a history of courting where men in a local village usually find a girl they fancy, talk to her family and arrange courting. They would show up and the family would be present, the woman, if interested, would wait in the parlor and the two would get to know each other with the woman's family physically present. The family was usually much more involved in this than most people would be dating today.

Around the 1920s, many people started living in cities and industrial capitalism was in full swing. There are many sources of newspapers in America by this time commenting on harlots who get "dates." This comes from filling all the dates on one's calendar. There were a lot of debates as to whether or not going on a date was prostitution because the poor young low wage workers in the cities would romantically entertain a man in exchange for him to pay for gifts or activities or food. This is pretty normal now (more towards both parties paying for themselves) but at the time this was sinful and controversial.

Regardless of all of this, people have always eloped but it didn't always look like bending down on a knee with a ring. The diamond ring concept didn't really come into the public view until the diamond monopoly (ETA: u/higherbrow corrected me it was the De Beers Corp and added more info) started advertising that it was virtuous and a show of love to buy a diamond ring worth x months of your salary.

Each era is slightly different in how long one expected to know each other before marriage, it also depended a lot on your class. As time has gone on, woman have had more control over who they date and generally spend more time to get to know them.

Hope that helped.