It hast come to Oure notice þat a grette traytour known as "Mel Gibson" hast generated a "film" þat ys nothyng but calumnye towardes Oure grette auncestrie. To witte: he hast villiche disclaundre þe firste and secounde Eduoards of Oure line and misrewarded þe outlaue William Wallas. Þis wole not stonde!
Item firste, Wallas was an outlaue and a robbour bifor þe tresoun of þe Scottes.
Item secounde, þe schirref of Lanark dude notte sclee Wallas' wyf and þe skek was ontrewe. Moreouer, notte all Englisch were scleen, for Thomas Grey dude remaynyd.
Item þred, þeir was a pounte atte Stirling.
Item fowre, Oure prodessessour, þe secounde Eduoard, though a sodomyte and an unworþi kynge, was a perexcellent knyʒt, bolde and mightiful.
Item fyfþe, Oure alde mode, Isabella of Fraunce, was but þre when Gibson deceyuously pretenden þat Wallas got þe þred Eduoard on her.
Item sexte , Oure prodessessour, þe firste Eduoard, dude not sclee hys ouen putayle, for þat wulde be completely folisshe.
It ys clere þat þis "Mel Gibson" ys a traytour werkynge for þe Scottes and We shall haf hym drawn, hanged hedyd, quartered, and in diuers Counreys hure quarteres I-hanged vp in tokyn here of þis tresoun.
I propose that Your Majesty and that Antipodean thespian be caged together in a Dome of Thunder, with the proviso that, while two do enter, only one may leave.
I sal dispreive þis fals and wikked pak of lyis, þoch I concur þet þe warkis of "Mel Gibson" es sare wrang. Þis be ane gret and horribil ensaumple of þe mysdedis and wrangis of þe Inglysmen and ane entire defammacioun of þe rewme of Skotland.
Item firste, Wallas was an outlaue and a robbour bifor þe tresoun of þe Scottes.
Ontrewe: þe freli knicht Wiliam Wallas was nobyl boren and of nobyl lynage.
Item fowre, Oure prodessessour, þe secounde Eduoard, though a sodomyte and an unworþi kynge, was a perexcellent knyʒt, bolde and mightiful.
Hou mai a fals, un-wurþi, sodomytikal, heretikal, ill-þocht kyng be a godli knicht? Hit be ane þing utter contrare, straunge and aganis^1 nature.
Item fyfþe, Oure alde mode, Isabella of Fraunce, was but þre when Gibson deceyuously pretenden þat Wallas got þe þred Eduoard on her.
For þe royalme of Inglond is ful sare filþi and lechour, hit ne be impossible.
Item sexte , Oure prodessessour, þe firste Eduoard, dude not sclee hys ouen putayle, for þat wulde be completely folisshe.
Ontrewe: þoch I kan prove hit nocht, swilk accioun wald be parfit fittand to þe natur of þe Inglis.
nodding solemnly as if I understand even a tenth of this
Yes, yes. That does sound right. Do go on.
Holy shit thank you. After 20 years, studying Chaucer finally becomes semi useful.
Regardless of your opinions on anything else, I think we can all agree that having Mel Gibson hanged, drawn, and quartered is a very good idea.
What did sclee mean? I can't figure it out
Salutatis Henricus Rex, Rex Anglorum etc Domus Hiberniae, et ego te laudo pro huic nuntio.
þeir was a pounte atte Stirling
This is when I freaking lost it.
Ich herde Thou Highnesse onlye achieved victorye at Agincourte wiþ deceptionne and devilrye. Thou hast no claim legitimate in Fraunce! Vive þe Lawe Salique.
This aſsize fyndeth, þat the ſayd Mel Gibſon, ewing to his Trve and Perfect relacion of þe Exploits of a certayne Mad Max, and his portreyal, yn film, of the ſayme - being moost agreable to Our ſenſibilties - ſhall have rendered unto hym a Degree of clemency, yea, and be ſpared from the Gallows.
Trying to read this gave me a gargantuan headache...
Can we have subtitles?
þis "Mel Gibson" told tales of Jesus. Knowest aught of him?
hast is second person, no? it should be hath for third
This is incredible! I love it!