It is with great sadness that I must inform you that Churchill almost certainly did not make the first remark about the poisoned tea to Lady Astor: in his research for his biography Churchill: Walking With Destiny, Andrew Roberts concluded that there is no evidence that he said it.

But that doesn't mean that we can't talk about Churchill's relationship with Nancy Astor! When she became the first woman MP to take her seat in the House of Commons in 1919, Churchill was not exactly welcoming, remarking, "I feel as if you have come into my bathroom and I have only a sponge with which to defend myself." For her part, Astor remarked of Churchill to Stalin on a visit to Russia in 1931, "Oh, he's finished!" She was far from alone among Conservative MPs in regarding Churchill as self-servingly ambitious and a dangerous warmonger.

Astor was also on the side of the appeasers in the 1930s, and made both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi remarks. When Churchill addressed the Commons in the aftermath of the Munich Agreement, declaring it "a total and unmitigated defeat", she shouted back, "Nonsense!" When she heckled him again, Churchill retorted, "She must very recently have been receiving her finishing course in manners", not exactly the most gallant of remarks to say the least. While Astor was one of the Conservative rebels who voted against the government in the Norway Debate of May 1940, which brought down Chamberlain and ensured that Churchill would be installed as Prime Minister, she also abstained in the vote on the 1 July 1942 censure motion brought against Churchill by Sir John Wardlaw-Milne.

There is more evidence that Churchill did make the second witticism, but not to Nancy Astor! This particular passage of arms was held with Bessie Braddock, long-serving Labour MP for Liverpool, in 1946. Churchill may actually have been quoting a film when replying to Braddock's outraged, "Winston, you are drunk, and what is more, you are disgustingly drunk!", as the witticism appears nearly verbatim in W.C. Fields' 1934 comedy It's a Gift:

Developer: "You're drunk!"

Harold: "Yeah, and you're crazy; and I'll be sober tomorrow and... you'll be crazy for the rest of your life!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuG6Tvx3MRI&ab_channel=Scharpy1