Why did the 1755 Lisbon earthquake happen on a Catholic holiday and kill so many good Christians? How do you reconcile the existence of a benevolent God with such events?

How can I know that you are René Descartes and not, in fact, an evil demon posting in his name?

How do you feel about Monty Python mentioning you in their “Philosophers Song” lyrics, “And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart ‘I drink therefore I am’”?

What do you think of the modern state of philosophy?

The modern "rationalist" movement is closer to what you might call "empiricism" (combined with inductive reasoning based on 18C and later probability) than your "rationalism" - what are your thoughts on empiricism? And did your education include conditional probabilities? If so, how were they calculated in your time?

What makes you "perennially misunderstood"?

By posting, am I am?

Why did you decide to use letters for math? MATH IS NUMBERS

How was posing for Frans Hals? Is that painter an insufferable genius, is he a man of culture interested in your works?

Is idealism a dead end, philosophically?

how do you feel about kirkegaard brutally annihilating your cogito

When it became perfectly clear that you two would not hit it off and she only had a passing fancy for philosophy, why did you stay at Queen Christina's court for as long as you did?

Why is it that you can conceive of a perfect infinite being and yet you concede the inability to conceive of the idea of infinity, or of something as being actually perfect? Furthermore, what’s to say that anything by the natural light of reason is a mistaken notion born of ignorance of some deeper understanding?

Did you ever meet Spinoza? What were your thoughts on him?

And with my Magnum Opus, I will stop time itself!!

Why do you only think you are? Why do you not know you are?

How do you feel knowing that the greatest pun ever used on Reddit is a joke about your name?

Who would win in a fist fight? You or Pascal?

I hate you and your mathematics

Sir Descartes, I hear you regularly exchange letters with none other than Christina, Queen of Sweden. I have heard that she has a bright mind and sharp wit, to the point that it was during your shared discourse you came across many of your great ideas.

Have you ever met her in person? They say that the queen is a great hostess; would you accept an invitation to speak with her in person of many of your great and novel ideas?