While much more can always be said, I hope my previous answers on the relevant topics might also satisfy OP's curiosity for the time being:

• In the TV period drama "Arn", 12th century Swedish Arn and his sweetheart Cecilia Algotsdotter move in and out of cloistered life. Is that supported by historical evidence? (especially the answer to the follow-up questions)
• In the Cadfael series a 12th century monk in England regularly gets involved in the daily lives of lay people. Is that realistic? What was the general relationship between monastic life and people outside in Catholicism in the medieval period?

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The most important social function of the monastic members (especially noble ones) in medieval Europe (especially Early Medieval) was to keep the memory of benefactors to the monastery (including the records of donations) by prayer and written word against the oblivion (often without enough safe storage of written materials in middle and long-term) prevailed out of the monastery.

So, at least the news of the death of the benefactors related to the family member within the monastery must have been of importance to the congregation - It was almost like their obligation to pray for the deceased's soul in exchange for the donation.