Whilst I cannot write a full response to this I can link to some earlier ones. There seems to be somewhat of a dearth of threads about Hades (so I hope you will get a new one soon), however in this older answer, u/Labrydian discusses how Hades was feared by Ancient Greeks. But you are entirely right that Ares was viewed very negatively, since he was seen as a god of slaughter, bloodlust and chaos rather than strategy or military triumph as embodied by Athena. Of this you can read in more detail as written here by u/Spencer_A_McDaniel, here by u/Iphikrates and here by u/JoshoBrouwers