I mean, after the fall of the Western Roman Empire, the Italian Peninsula was split into various kingdoms, duchies and parts of other empires, and they didn't unify until the 19th century.

From what i can tell, right after the collapse of the Western Roman Empire, there was a short lived Kingdom of Italy, but after that they were fragmented until the 19th century.

How come it took them so long, since from what i can tell and know, the people of the italian peninsula, were more closely tied together, ethnically, culturally and linguistically, then the people in other regions, such as Spain, France, Germany and the British Isles. Of course i could be wrong.

I (m56) am the ambassador to a large nation (n103) which my own country (n137) has substantial commercial and strategic interests in. You might say that we have a Doctrine which puts them under our wing. We’re like… their big brother who looks out for what is best for them even when they don’t realize it.

Anyways, things have been really unstable there recently, and this one guy, who we’ll call “M”, who recently took power really sucks. He is promising all these reforms which will definitely hurt my own country’s business stakes here. My President - T - doesn’t like him either, but he recently lost reelection and this other guy - W - is coming in and obviously doesn't like me, and he wasn’t going to handle this right, I know it.

So when I caught wind of some military officers plotting to take over and right the ship, so to speak, how could I not support them when the uprising began? Yes, the President is in his ‘Lame Duck’ phase and told me not to do anything, but surely he just has to say that for appearances sake, right? It isn’t like he wouldn’t deploy some ships to the region if he didn’t want to send a message.

Sure, I might have kind of misrepresented that to imply we were going to deploy some Marines to try and solidify my position as a ‘peace broker’ but its excusable, right?

And how was I to know that they weren’t going to let M go into exile and instead just execute him? I swear I had nothing to do with that! Really, I promise! OK, fine, maybe I should have done more to prevent it, but can you really blame me for that?

But now W is coming in and he is trying to make me look like the bad guy! The T was obviously happy with the outcome even if he can’t say it, so what the hell did I do wrong here? I’m damn good at this job and don’t deserve to be dismissed, and now all this work will be for nothing because W is going to screw it all up and not work with the new government that I put in place literally to help us out! He’s the one really making a damn mess of things! How am I the asshole?

From reading Wikipedia and elsewhere, one gets the impression that abolitionism is only a few centuries old. While that may be true of an organised political movement, it seems absolutely astonishing that slaves could form a substantial percentage of world population since at least the time of ancient Rome and probably much earlier without someone literate seeing it as unfair. I’ve seen and heard a lot of references to Aristotle’s defence of natural slavery; did any of his ancient Greek contemporaries call him out on it? Did ancient priests see anything wrong with slavery? Do we even have examples of individuals in power taking a stand, like a wealthy slave owner manumitting all his slaves? Are there any societies known that refused to take slaves?

In my defense, he was also trying to kill me.

Since our anointing and coronation less than a score years ago, we have often found ourselves entangled in argument with our council over how to administer our kingdoms. That council being, of course, the Commons of the Kingdom of England. Initially, we agreed with our parliaments in the need to push for English advantage in our trading and desire for conquest with his lordship Philip IV of Spain. The Commons agreed with our desire but refused to allocate and collect enough funds to proceed on the most modest of military ventures, as they had done to my father before me, in the last years of his reign. They openly questioned our decision to wage conflict on our own terms, and the continued appointment of our treasured friend the Duke of Buckingham as Lord Admiral. Acrimony between us and some members of the Commons poisoned our working relationship until we could take no more in the fourth year of our reign. They had the audacity to hold our Speaker in his chair as they shouted aloud stinging bills calling our proper authority and decisions into question. From there we decided we would rule with our privy council and advisers alone.

The eleven years before our current disarray were ones of tranquility. Van Dyke helped grace our manors with wondrous collections of artistic triumph; we were able, through no small assistance of our dear friend and adviser Archbishop Laud, to make our worship more religious and instill a sense of proper authority in our churches; and our friend Thomas, Earl of Strafford served us well in Ireland while his time lasted. Some few dissidents that arose in England, losing their minds, then lost their ears, were regrettable, but necessary actions. How can we rule as king without establish our authority against that seditious Prynne and his cronies. The troubles in our kingdom of Scotland surely broke this tranquility, as we tried to enforce greater conformity across all our kingdoms in matters of religion.

We could not have known the trouble that could come from printing a new Book of Common Prayer for Scotland. We consulted with our Scottish Bishops and learned men, who insisted that we had both proper parliamentary authority and that the work would be received with hardly a murmur from most of our Scottish subjects. The treasonous riots and marching of arms that followed five years ago could never have been predicted. Cries against popery filled the city streets in Edinburgh, and as we tried to withdraw the new book, the treasonous Lords of Scotland raised armies. And with the continued loans and levies of ship money drawing in less and less capital, we felt it necessary to call upon that ancient council of a parliament to grant us the necessary funds to combat this Scottish thread.

After the summoning of not one, but two parliaments in a span of a few months was not the expected outcome when we first sent out the missives. Our little parliament refused to even hear our pleas for subsidies to combat the army that threatened the North. Instead the spoke for hours on end of grievances, over our religious policies, over, quite frankly, everything they could think of to stall debate on the subsidies and collection of funds. So they were dissolved. We were forced to try again, and the same problems arose. We made concession after concession to the Commons, but their hunger never abated. When the papists of Ireland rose us, we thought this might be our moment to remove the stains of popery and bring an army of Protestants to bear in the country. Instead parliament blamed our office and that of our Lord Lieutenant. They brought a bill of attainder against our most loyal Strafford, and to my greatest regret, we let it pass, and he was thus executed. I hope the Lord shall forgive me.

In pressing their advantage the Commons demanded that we remove the ancient authority of bishops in our kingdom, calling for reform Root and Branch. The bill was never passed, and as a concession, we allowed the Lords to remove the bishops from the benches. We had hoped concessions here and elsewhere would allow us to continue, vote on supply, and return to our homes.

The Commons had other plans, it seems. As they continued to continue passing bills requiring regular meetings of parliaments, abolished our Court of Star Chamber, and forbade taxation without the consent of parliament, we made one concession after another. As we had tried using these ancient offices and customs, we had thought ourselves well within our rights. We feared we would become King in name only, for the majesty of our office seemed to diminish with each new act of this parliament. We could stand no more after the turn of the year and sought out those five members of the Commons who had stood for naught but treason in their speeches. As we marched at the head of a troop into the Commons, our cause was betrayed, and we were forced to leave without finding those responsible. It was with a heavy heart that we sent our beloved Henrietta to France, and summoned little Charles to our side. As we road north, we also summoned James, and in their mercy the Commons allowed it.

Now we come to the ordinance for raising a militia. Such an innovation to raise an army against a kingdom's God appointed ruler, by no other voice but that of a parliament, is without precedent in our history. Four hundred years and more have passed since Magna Carta, and never has a parliament usurped so much authority. We think that if we should be forced to protect ourselves, our family, and our kingdom, we may need to issue commissions of our own.

As we write you gentlemen, we ask, AWTA? We sought only to do what was in our kingdoms best interests. We tried to establish a uniform religion across our multiple kingdoms. When a vile puritan cries out against rails by our altarwise table, we and the Archbishop reply that we seek nothing more than proper reverence for God. The least we could do is install rails to prevent the dogs of London from urinating on surfaces reserved for the Eucharist. We sought to establish our authority abroad through alliance with France and war with Spain, and parliaments could never find it in their hears - or their purses - to provide us with adequate funds to do so. We sought to rule upon ancient custom and were told the customs were too ancient. When we tried to concede and grant that our parliaments could be involved in all these ways of ruling, they claimed that we gave too little too late. What more could you ask of a king but to give up his office? That is something we cannot and will not do.

But tell me, my learned friends, AWTA?

Charles, King of England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales and France

First of April, eighteenth year of our reign, at York

So backstory, after years of relationships that petered out or went nowhere, I met the woman that I adore more than anything else in the world. We started seeing one another in secret while I was still in a relationship with someone else and once that relationship ended, I introduced her to my parents. It didn't go over well. Afterwards, they refused to let her come over anymore or even acknowledge her presence because she was a divorcee. To say that my parents are old fashioned would be an understatement.

Flash forward to today. My dad died a few months back and so it has fallen upon me to pick up the mantle and take charge of the family business. I was all well and ready to do so, however my family has said that if I am to be in charge of the family firm, I would need to jettison any plans of marriage with this woman as well as my relationship with her or else it will cause rifts that cannot be repaired. I am devastated.

I'm very torn. I've dreamed of the day I would be placed in charge of my family's business since I was a small child, but I also love this woman dearly and cannot imagine a life without her. So I ask, WIBTA if called it quits, married the love of my life, and let my brother take over the firm instead?

Known that the religious sentiment was all-time in medival Europe, where sectarian conflict was prevelant. Didn't this extreme step of British monarch induced sharp reaction from the conservatives of the era?

I'm gonna be Realpolitik with you. So after using three blitzkriegs against Denmark, Austria and France as motivators, I got the Germans together and created this Empire. It's German. I know, it's 1871, about time that Holy Roman thing was over, I mean, no one really understood what it even meant. A German Empire is more concrete, it has a nice nationalistic flavor to it, and I'm Chancellor.

Anyhow. I want to use the Russians and the Austro-Hungarians to protect myself from other baddies, mainly France, because they probably won't be happy with me taking Alsace and Lorraine. Thing is, I predict that I'll have to screw over some of them, probably the Russians if they ever become to big in the Balkans to be a threat to the Austro-Hungarians.

Anyhow, it's too complex to explain in so many words. The idea is to secure German supremacy in Europe under the guise of balance of power and maintaining peace between the big players in the international stage, and domestically, introducing a lovely welfare State so people are happy and get payed if they're sick and such cute things. I'm gonna do all of this with the help of my faithful, governable Kaiser, Wilhelm.

Here's what I'm afraid of. Wait, what? You think I'm afraid of my faux alliances causing trouble? Nah. I'm afraid that this entire system is so delicate and complex, I'm the only one who can manage it, wink wink. But what happens if, say, another Kaiser comes along, one that doesn't really like me all that much (I'm looking at you little Wilhelm) and fires me?

So what do you folks think? I'm doing great, aren't I? Everything's gonna end up great, it always does with Realpolitik, when you care little to nothing about long term consequences of current decisions. I just have to avoid getting fired.

In the realm of probability and statistics, we have been struggling to resolve several problems. For some time we have been able to reason the odds of events taking place when the rules underlying the game are known. For example, in a game of cards there are four face cards and four suits, so in a 52 card deck we can infer that twelve face cards exist. Therefore, the odds of drawing any one face card from a fair deck is 12/52=.23. So, when drawing a random card from a deck of 52 there is a 23% chance that you will draw a face card. This has been rather useful for betters and gamblers, but has had scant practical application beyond that. It would not be until my colleague Jacob Bernoulli that a suggestion at how to apply this concept more broadly to the real world could be applied.

The problem is that in the real world, sometimes the underlying proportions that govern reality are unknown. How are we to estimate the average probability that a boat that is docking in our harbor is full of pirates without knowing the number of boats sailing about the world, and the number of boats controlled by pirates?

It was Jacob Bernoulli that discovered exactly how one may make such an approximation. Bernoulli discovered that for any probabilistic event, the more observations one obtains, the closer the proportions observed resemble the underlying proportions of the system from which they are drawn. In this way underlying proportions could be estimated, and we statisticians could lend our aid to lay people. The story would have been fine if it had stopped there, but alas, a decided wrongheadedness entered into our field that I had to resolve.

A colleague of mine (Thomas Bayes) passed away some time ago, having left a manuscript unpublished. A dear friend of his found the manuscript, published it, and created the foundations of a school of thought that has been dominant for some time now. Laplace, among others, has taken the foundations of that school of thought and built an entire overarching system for the testing of beliefs about the world.

Laplace, building on the work of Thomas Bayes, found a way of determining the probability that a hypothesis one has about the world is true, given the data that is observed. He accomplished this by taking the previous belief someone had about the odds of a hypothesis being true and multiplying that by the probability of the data being true if the hypothesis was true. Laplace than divided the aforementioned by the probability that any of the hypotheses were true. Thus Bayes’s Theorem was born. In this way, one could derive estimates of the probability of each of a plethora of different hypotheses.

However, I despise that school of thought. The reality is that there is simply too much complexity cooked into the books of my former colleagues work. It is simply not tenable for the average lay-statistician to make use of the advanced calculus required to determine the probability of each hypothesis being correct based upon the data provided. I’m trying to spread statistical analysis to populations that have no exposure to them (like my fellow biologists), and it is not as though we have fancy machines that can do the mathematics for them!

Worse still, the method is terribly suited for the problems of our time. Bayes’s theorem requires that we have some prior belief that we then factor into our analysis. But as my colleague Poisson demonstrated, slight variations in that starting belief could lead to disastrously dissimilar results when samples were small. Are we to believe that the truth is different for different people with different starting beliefs? It is hogwash I say! If our samples were larger, this would not be a problem. In Bayes’s Theorem, with large samples someone’s prior belief is corrected by the data as the size of one’s sample approaches infinity – a property it inherits from the law of large numbers Bernoulli discovered. But our samples are tiny! We don’t have large swaths of people, or better yet large swaths of machines, that can monitor everything done by everyone. Most of our data has to be gathered meticulously by hand!

Something had to be done to bridge the gap between the world of statistics and the world of the practical. So I misrepresented and misinterpreted some of Laplace and Bayes’s work. I softened the blow to my esteemed colleague Bayes, however. I used the fact that he never published the work as grounds to insinuate that he had been properly skeptical of his own theories. His well-meaning friend tried to immortalize his fellow by having it published, but did not see the error of his ways as Bayes did. Most of the fault I have lain at Laplace’s feet, and the majority of my brethren seem to have accepted this.

Now I’ve created a new field of statistics, where we can derive the odds of a black jack hand being fraudulent compared to a hypothetical non-fraudulent hand, or being able to statistically differentiate particularly gifted hookers from novices with respect to their lovemaking. The biggest boon is that it doesn’t rely on the average person having to use calculus, now all that needs be done is consulting a series of tables to determine whether or not a result is statistically significantly different from the null hypothesis. The best part of it, is that since it takes so long to gather our data and the mathematics is somewhat challenging, it is highly unlikely that people will just keep gathering more data until results magically become significant – or run the analyses on everything they can and hope something sticks. Once again, this methodology is perfectly suited for the absence of counting machines and monitoring devices we have. If such devices were ever invented, it is likely my methodology would encounter serious problems.

So I lied, I cheated, I bribed men to cover my work in a better light. I am an accessory to misrepresentation and manipulation.

But the most damning thing of all, I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again, I would.

Neymann and Pearson were right about one thing. A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the future of statistics, so I will learn to live with it.

Because I can live with it.

I can live with it.

I came from the very Rural Parts of Britain. The only kind of Jobs that existed pertained to Farming, Weaving, and maybe Fiſhing if I moved closer to the Coast. Being young and eager for something better in my life I moved to America thinking I could make my life better. The Tales of Opportunity and LAND! I can be a Landowner if I work hard enough there and find vacant Lands to claim. All the Land in Britain is owned completely. Plus the French are no longer a bother and I heard the Indians have been quiet save for those rare Frontiersmen trekking too far away from the King's Borders.

I moved before the War broke out and with some spectacular deal, the government gave me some Land to settle into and I do not have to pay taxes for a few years. I suppose I should have seen this War breaking out long ago with events that occurred in Boston several years back. However, I am not sure if these Colonials know how good they have it here. Nevertheleſs, War came and its Ideology spread like Wildfire among the colonies and before I knew what had occurred in my new Town I was questioned by the new Provincial Government about where my Loyalties lied. They threatened Me and my Livelihood, for They spoke of burning my House and Land down if I should think of joining against the Provincial Government. I pleaded with the Rabble, many of whom had been Neighbors I had known for a while, to leave me be in peace. I was not in wanting of trouble you see. Lines of Anger protruded from their Faces as I spoke for my Wish to have no Part in this Matter. They soon left but not without many Voices of Anger deep within the Rabble to string me up.

Knowing I had not a Friend nearby, I decided that leaving would prove to be the Wise decision to do and immediately headed for the closest Town that would harbor Me. By fortune, I had run into a British Regiment of Foot and being Down on my luck I asked if They would take a new Recruit into the services. With glee They took Me in and offered a Shilling for payment. Soon I became familiar with the Manual of Exercise of Musketry and the clothed in the the manner of a Soldier. I was promised that the War would be no longer than Two Years. The might of the British Army and Navy would quell this Insurrection. Afterall, the British has been succeſsful against the French and Spanish for many years now, why not against these Rebel Colonials?

It has been more than Two years and it is going on for nigh on Six now. Every Town we billet in has been met with Resistance and never in a peaceable manner. We are called Foul names that I cannot bear to repeat lest I should be unbecoming of a proper Soldier. In the few battles I have partaken, I cannot help but wish that the Rebels should Surrender immediately or be crushed. I had mercy for the Rebels in the beginning as I believed for them to be misguided by the foolishneſs of the Congress and would soon see their mistake. My sympathies began to run short once I saw my fellow Soldiers struck down in battle by an Enemy I wish to see as so inferior that I cannot begin to understand how They think they have a chance to win. Not long ago, after a battle of an incredible caliber I saw the captured Enemy prisoners under guard and recognized an old Neighbor from back home. I took leave from my Officer and Serjeant to have a short visit with the old Neighbor.

I do not know what I expected out of him but he immediately spat Foul names at me with such Ferocity and Volume his voice became Coarse and soon wore his voice down to a mere whisper. A traitor to the Government he called me. A servant of Tyranny. He would hear no words from me, playing deaf to my attempts at Conversing. I walked back to my Regiment's came and found my meſs mates readying supper.

I cannot help but think, am I the arsehole for joining the British army?

Your most humble and obedient servant,

a Loyal Redcoat in the American War.

God Save the King.

I (33M) work in HR at a branch office of a very large multi-national corporation. In the last 50 or so years, we've pivoted from a results-driven, customer-centric focus to the short-term bottom line. I put myself through purgatory to run the numbers, and I just don't think we have the bandwidth to indulge in juggling the demands of both the cloud and brick-and-mortar retail.

I drew up a list of 95 key takeaways from my research that I really think will help return us to our core competencies. Naturally, I reached out to the regional HQs in Brandenburg and Mainz--at the end of the day, it is of course their prerogative to put matters on the radar of the cardinal office.

The thing is, y'all...I may or may not have calmly and politely pinned the list to the bulletin board in my division office...or maybe someone else did...maybe to a few other bulletin boards. If I (or someone) calmly and politely pinned it, it *would have* happened on the day we were demo-ing our products for a whole lot of really important customers...

Now I've been fired, my friends are getting *literally* fired; people are printing my writing in *Fraktur* of all things, I've made a world where boys have to touch girls who have cooties, there's a massive war brewing...

I mean, I was right, but now some of my ex-co-workers (traitors) are making similar suggestions and HQ is listening? And I'm getting my friends killed? Was it my tone?

(Oh, also I may have unleashed the apocalypse.)

tl;dr Christiani magis per multas tribulationes intrare celum quam per securitatem pacis confidant. AITA?

Ok, let me give you some background. I worked for a huge, multinational organization. I don't want to name names, but you've definitely heard of them. They're headquartered in Rome, they're really into bread and wine (but only the employees get to drink the wine) and they probably have a branch in your town. Three years ago I filed a whistleblower complaint with my employer. I sent my boss (we'll call him "Al") a list of 95 things people in my organization were doing that I thought were wrong. Mostly they are cheating people out of their life's savings by selling what amounts to get out of jail free cards, but I have it on good authority that they don't actually work. I also put a copy of the list up on the local church door (everyone sees it when they go in). I mean, I didn't want anyone else to waste their money, right? But I wrote them in Latin, so only people who were really smart would be able to read them.

Well, after that things kind of got out of hand. Somebody made a bunch of copies of the list, someone else translated it into German and made enough copies that everybody could read it, and before I knew what was happening it had gone viral. Pretty soon it was all anyone was talking about. Al had gotten in touch with his boss about how to handle all this, and it wasn't sounding good for me. So I sent a letter to Al's boss (let's call him Giovanni). I explained what the list was all about. I promised him I didn't have any problems with him personally or our organization in general, I just thought we should get rid of the people who were selling made up pardons. I didn't want to get in any trouble, you know?

Now, I should mention that there are a lot of rumors going around about this guy. Like, nasty rumors. Like, sex parties and stuff kind of rumors. I don't know if any of it's true, but he really doesn't seem like a totally upstanding kind of guy, you know?

Anyway, apparently Giovanni didn't like my letter because he demanded that I come talk with him at the corporate headquarters. Well, that's a long way from where I live, and I wasn't sure I felt safe going there anyway, you know? I heard they called in another whistleblower a while ago and he ended up being burned alive! So Giovanni sent someone in fancy clothes from corporate to tell me I was wrong and that everything was fine, and basically that I needed to just shut up and do my job.

Well, that didn't sit well with me. So I started writing more stuff, some of it about Giovanni. I admit, I may have gone a little overboard when I called him the antichrist and said he was the fountain and source of all superstition. But his people were writing stuff that was at least that bad about me!

So anyway, the other day I got an official letter from Giovanni. It called me foolish, and said that my opinion was scandalous and offensive. It said that I had to stop talking about any of this, and that every copy of everything I had ever written on the subject needed to be destroyed. If I didn't do what he said, I'd be thrown out of the organization and they would press charges. Well, that didn't scare me. I have powerful friends. My friends and I got together yesterday and made a bonfire. I tossed in Giovanni's letter. Am I the asshole?

So first some background info. Recently I hade some of my guys go East to Cathay to scout it out and see what kind of wealth it had, and also to see if it would be a good place to raid or invade. My men found enormous towers, huge cities, and powerful fortifications indicating that this was an enormously powerful civilization. However, they found many of these cities inhabited by nothings but corpses, the ground slick with human bodyfat, and the stench of rotting corpses causing my men to fall ill, which indicates that some terrible invaders swept through the region and somehow destroyed this grand civilization.

So, after this terrifying discovery, I get a trade envoy from some barbarians to the north. Laden with jewels, silks, fine spices, armors, and anything else you can think of, these guys seemed SUSPICIOUSLY wealthy for a bunch of horse barbarians. In fact, the only way for these people to acquire wealth so great would be if they were the ones that looted those Cathayan cities! Realizing this was just a deception, I had them put to death, and I left one man alive to to give whichever dipshit their khan is my retort.

AITA? I know it can be a dick move to kill trade envoys, but these barbarians aren’t exactly angels, after all just look at what they did to those cities! They aren’t beyond using grand deception to win invasions, so I couldn’t risk opening myself up to their spies. Besides, what are some horsemen going to do to MY army, right?

I know that sounds bad, but hear me out.

My husband and I had kind of a weird relationship. He’d been married several times, and actually his first wedding was before I was born. I was friends with his oldest daughter and used to teach his younger kids, and I was actually thinking about seeing someone else when he proposed. He’s the king, though, so I couldn’t really turn him down.

We got along all right and people say I did a good job as his queen – I helped him with his work, and I reunited him with his estranged daughters, which … let’s just say that they were *really* estranged. There was some conflict with some of his councillors trying to turn him against me and also get me arrested (lol – long story), but I managed to turn that around, too, and we were on good terms when he died.

But the thing is, I was never in love with him. Like I said, he’d been married several times before me and if I’m honest, he found it pretty easy to get his past wives out of the picture when he didn’t want to be with them anymore. (Some of them are *dead*, I mean.) That conflict I mentioned before could have – and I think was going to have – turned into getting rid of me so he could be with one of my friends. Now that he’s gone, the man I was falling in love with is back in the picture, too. I still can’t help but feel guilty, though. AITA?

We (28M) are mourning the unexpected death of our most gentle queen and beloved wife (28F). During the funeral, one of our noble subjects (48M) had the gall first to interrupt the service by arriving late and furthermore to ask us if he might be allowed to leave early. We responded to this impudent request by promptly seizing a rod from an attendant and striking the malefactor in the face with it until his blood flowed freely and he fell stunned. (Supposedly, we are not convinced.) Should we have reserved our royal judgment and righteous vengeance until a more convenient time?

We are not the type of monarch who accepts such insults willingly and as God's chosen representative on earth, surely we possess some degree of discretion regarding the punishment of our subjects for their misdeeds. Our beloved wife, most excellent and dutiful of all women, was ever merciful and meek, but were she alive to see such a flagrant insult against her late person we are sure she would have expired from shame on the spot. As an imperial princess in her own right and the perfect flower of a noble and gracious family, she would understand the necessity of quick and decisive action in defense of our royal dignity. Now our own extended family are lamenting and bewailing such a violent act on sacred ground, the necessity of reconsecrating Westminster Abbey, delaying their dinner plans, etc.

Are We The Asshole?

I don’t know how to start this … so, I got married to my husband pretty quickly after I first met him, and there’s a pretty big age gap between us. (It’s big enough that I’m not going to tell you our ages lol) He’s been married before, and he really loves that I’m more fun than his previous wives – I don’t want to change him or get involved with his political/religious business, I just accept what he is.

Here’s the problem. He just found out about some stuff from my past and he’s super mad about it. Everyone says that I shouldn’t have gotten with him because of it, and that I should have at least made a serious effort to make sure that he never found out because it makes me look really bad. I feel like things that happened when I was a teenager shouldn’t be a problem now (even though they do make me look really bad) and like I couldn’t do much more to keep it quiet, but all his friends disagree. AITA?

Alright bear with me guys, this is a weird one.

I (45M) get into friendly debates with a peer/acquaintance of mine (61M). He used to be a total jock type, was pretty into wrestling for a while, but he has a deeper, introspective side, he’s really big on theory, and learned a lot from a mentor a while back and he’s always bringing ideas up that his mentor taught him (this is relevant, I promise). He can be pretty pretentious and pedantic, too— he straight-up started an academy something like 20 years ago so that he could gather and preach/teach to likeminded individuals.

So, fast forward to last night, we’re at his academy trying to define the meaning of existence and what life truly is, and what does it mean to be a man, and he starts talking about something his mentor used to say: that a man was simply a featherless biped. I think this is a pretty ridiculous base to start from, but whatever. Anyway we go on about this for a while and finally break for dinner.

I head out to the market in Athens to scrounge up something to eat, and I see a guy selling whole, unbutchered chickens and I’m like, okay, according to Mr. Smarty-Toga, two legs with feathers, those chickens are halfway to manhood! So I get a rooster from the guy and spend some time plucking it (I’m committed to the bit at this point), and head back to the Academy. Plato’s back by now and holding forth in his forum and I’m like okay perfect, he’s got an audience, this’ll be hilarious. And I run in, brandishing the chicken, yelling “Behold! A man!”

The kids he’s talking to, mostly young students, they’re all confused and seem to think it’s funny, but Plato’s spitting mad and starts yelling about how “it doesn’t work like that” and “why can’t you just respect a different school of thought” and all that. He finally adds that he meant a man is a featherless biped with fingernails, to which I asked him if he thought chicken talons are too large to be fingernails, and now he’s refusing to speak to me.

Honestly, it was all in good fun and I didn’t mean to insult him (alright maybe I did a little), but was I out of line? Or is he overreacting?

Okay, this one requires some context.

My dad and my foster-father hated each other, but they both liked me and bequeathed me property out on the west coast. They were both fabulously wealthy, so I got some pretty good land, especially near where my favorite ancestor Egill lived. Built a hot tub there too just to show off. Originally, I was there with my wife, H, but she was just so dull! At least I cared for our 2 children and my other 5 well.

Anyway, I found success in my home, becoming the highest-ranking politician there, but even that's not that far. I mean, it's an honorary position that only lasts for 3 years, and I only got to do work when every other lawyer in the country was too damn incompetent to actually resolve a case. So, I went overseas to Norway and befriended the king and his uncle and regent. They both really liked me, I am a talented poet in addition to a talented lawyer, after all. That being said, the competition was really not very tough; kids these days don't know how to write poetry. So I wrote a treatise on all the fake beliefs before the True Faith arrived to teach them all how to kenning. Idiots.

Anyway, while I was in Norway, the king asked me to persuade my countrymen to become part of his retinue. Now, since my brothers and I own about half the country, I figured this would be easy. But no, apparently not. It's not like they'd lose rank from it, there's literally no harm! But especially my nephew S... he's so arrogant. Stole the woman I wanted to be my second wife, raised an army against me, and every time I tried to meet him for peace talks, he demanded so much that I had no choice but to leave in a huff. At least my son O and my other nephew S killed him, one fewer thing out of my hair.

The situation back home deteriorated so far that I went back to Norway, to my friends, to find out that the king also suddenly hates me! Something about "twenty years is much too long for how simple the task was." I mean, I may have used that to buy up more property here and there, but that was to hand it all over to him! At least his uncle, the former regent, still liked me. But would you believe it, they were in a civil war! I was SURE the uncle would win, and he appointed me Jarl of Iceland! That title, you must understand, was purely honorary; Iceland has never had a ruler before, and this functionally changes nothing. The king didn't like that idea, and ordered me to stay in Norway. He's not the boss of me, he didn't give me a fancy new title, so I went home. And now I hear that he's secured the help of people who already don't like me, especially one Gizurr.

They're close to Reykholt to attack me, so I'm going to hide in my basement. But before I do, I've got to know: AITA?

So this has been going on for a few years, but it finally came to a head this week. I feel like I need to give some context, ‘cause I’m at my wits end. To tell this story properly, I feel like some distance should be achieved, and so it shall be written in the third person. The names are clearly not indicative of anything, of course.

So Gaius (me, was 50M, follow, like, and subscribe on social media xoxo) - a very attractive and clever politician - was on the brink of glory about a decade back, but he, truth be told, was too poor to make effective use of his genius. And like so many fellow Romans, he was unable to go it alone, so he made an alliance with two other men (Gnaeus and Marcus). Gaius was a peacemaker - another hallmark of his brilliance - and so, despite the fact that his new co-workers really couldn’t stand each other, he alone was able to hold the three of them together. The Roman people, recognizing him for his talent, chose to elect him as consul, and he was acclaimed by everyone (except for his slanderous rivals). He was able to subdue them with the force of his will - or, in one case, by seducing the man’s sister (Porcius, 32M at the time). Completely unrelated, they just hit it off. Porcius continued his efforts to be a thorn in the side of Gaius for some unknown reason, and that brings us to the matter at hand.

See, Porcius managed to turn Gnaeus - who even married Gaius’ daughter! - against him while Gaius was defending the borders and dignity of the People of Rome from the wild barbarians of the north. Gnaeus ordered Gaius’ arrest and refused to let him run for office from outside Rome! It would be bending a rule, yes, but that had happened in the past and everyone involved has bent plenty of rules before. Gaius hadn’t done anything to deserve this - it was all fake. All political attacks. All an injustice by smaller and more jealous men. The arrest was for “abusing the power of the consulship” and “carrying on an illegal war” and “flagrantly ignoring campaign finance laws.” For context, everyone does these things, and Gaius had done them purely with the interests of the People of Rome at heart. He truly loved (loves) Rome and deeply desires to protect her and her freedom.

So Reddit, as to the people in the Forum, you have been approached for judgement. Is it so terrible that Gaius (me, 55M now, DM me on my social media and we’ll see where things go from there ;) ) chose to stand up to Gnaeus? Is it not right that Gaius should object, calling for a fair and just account by the Roman people? And since the only way to approach the city of Rome without being accosted was to have some backup, was Gaius not justified in seeing to his own safety? Especially since everything turned out alright in the end for the People of Rome.

Anyway, I, before my glorious campaign against the Parthians, will be assembling the Senate in the Theatre of Pompey tomorrow morning, on the Ides, to establish a sweeping set of legislation that will bring justice and prosperity to all the People of Rome. I do this for you, to ensure that you have all the rights and liberties that you deserve as citizens, with full humility in my heart. Everything I have ever done has been for you, even the ones I haven’t slept with every single one of you. So why is everyone calling me the asshole?

Some background: my husband has been married before, I haven’t (although I was briefly engaged once). I come from a strong Protestant background, and my husband spent most of his life as a devout Catholic before seeing the light about ten years ago. He’s also older than me – I’m about the same age as his older daughter from his first marriage. Oh, and we’re in kind of an arranged marriage, which is normal in our culture.

I think our marriage has gotten off on the wrong foot. When I first met my husband, I was watching some entertainment and he came up in disguise and kissed me, which really startled me and I didn’t respond well. It was awkward and I just tried to ignore this strange guy who was really taking liberties. Then he left and came back in his real clothes and introduced himself as my husband, and I could tell that he was annoyed that I hadn’t known who he was.

On our wedding night … we didn’t consummate. He was very nice about it at the time, and he has been every night since, but he’s said some really hurtful things about me to his friends afterward, like that I smelled too bad to get near, and they all believe him. He’s also telling them that I don’t look like the pictures that made him agree to marry me – like, “I’m not even sure that they’re her”-levels. He basically thinks I catfished him, and he feels hurt and betrayed.

I admit that it’s possible that the picture was a bit touched up, and people may have been overly flattering in their descriptions of me because they wanted this marriage to go through. AITA for not making it clear ahead of time that I’m a normal person and not a babe?

Bit of backstory. When I was in elementary/high school, like a kid you know, I grew up in a pretty hardcore ghetto in New York, ran with gangs.. that kinda stuff. My best friend Wesley (M20), I looked up to him since he was the leader of our gang. But then I had to go away when I got into an Ivy league college (sorry, not gonna name which one), and I didn't get to come back home because I was so busy the past few years because I've been working so hard trying to make something of myself. It's hard living that life, you know? I'm trying to get away from all that. I've been learning how to dance, and sing, and get educated at the same time. Kinda like all those old b-boys that used to hang out in the subway station near where I used to live.

So things calmed down a bit and I actually managed to find some time to come back home recently. Once I got home all my old friends were there waiting for me. I got a kind of intense vibe right away, like they were a bit judgmental about what I was wearing, and how I talk now because I'm not using as much slang as I used to. But we kinda shrugged it off and went out anyway.

We decided we'd go roam the streets like the old days, and I kinda hinted to them that I was cool with that but I'm not really down with mugging people and all that stuff, you know? I don't want to risk my studies and career just to impress them. Wesley wasn't happy and was getting increasingly pissed at me, so I just said fuck it. I took them down to the subway station and I guess I let them peer pressure me into showing I'm still a bad mofo by robbing a few people. I figured if nothing else I could say hey to the b-boys down there, if they were still there.

The first guy comes up, an old man - and I just couldn't do it. I just don't feel it anymore. I just think it doesn't make you a badass to do that anymore. I don't need to behave that way, you know? There's ways I can better myself without having to mug old guys. I don't have to live like that. So I shouted at the old guy to get outta there, to just run for it because Wesley was coming for him. He got away though because of me.

Wesley was pissed at me and was shoving me and shit, and he got my friends and they all turned on me. It genuinely felt like I was gonna die, they were saying I lost my connection to my neighbourhood and turned my back on the ghetto. Wesley thinks I betrayed him and our people by going to that ivy league college.

Just when I thought they were going to beat me up, just like we used to beat up traitors when we were kids, the b-boys appeared outta nowhere. They totally had my back, and I realised, like - I think it's more badass to have the courage to protect people like I did that old guy. It's more badass to go out and better yourself through ways that don't involve hurting other people and pushing drugs and shit, you know? So I told Wesley that. I shouted at him, you ain't bad you ain't nothing!! I still feel good thinking about it.

So then the b-boys nodded at me and we ganged up on my former friends, shouting at them, taking over the whole subway, breakdancing, showing them through peaceful ways how we're the ones that are tough, it takes more guts to do the right thing in this world. More guts than Wesley and his boys have just beating up old guys.

Wesley had nothing to say at the end, he just said like 'fair enough then' and shook my hand. But it got me thinking, were the b-boys right? Did I do the right thing, or did I just turn my back on my friends and my neighbourhood? AITA?

So some years back, our company had a massive hiring of temporary workers. After the need was done, they were let go, but we did promise them a small retirement bonus, payable in 20 years.

Well, recently the markets crashed, and now they are all clamoring for the payout to happen now. We’ve done what we can, but hey, times are hard for everyone so they really need to tighten up their belts and quit whining in my opinion.

Recently a bunch of them have banded and decided to camp out in front of our headquarters, along with their families. There have to be 40,000 of them out there. Frankly, it is pretty insulting to see their total lack of gratitude for what the company has done for them, and if you ask me, I suspect that they are mostly just Communists trying to cause trouble.

Anyways though, this has gone on for far too long, and my boss has decided that enough is enough, and decided they need to be kicked off our lawn. As head of security, that falls to me. Now, he doesn’t really have the stomach for this if we’re being honest, and ordered me that “every kindness and consideration” should be shown in removing them, but I’ve been in this business long enough to know that if you want results, you need to show you mean business, and the EVP who I directly report to agrees. We’re the top security force in area, and we have everything. Even a few tanks. The forces of unrest present in that camp aren’t going to budge if we show any weakness, I guarantee it.

So keeping in mind that these are mostly a bunch of dirty vagabonds and communist infiltrators, WIBTA if I had my men kick them out of here with fixed bayonets and a few tanks?

I (F, 12) know its late to accuse someone of witchcraft, it is 1692, but I live in Salem Village, Massachusetts Bay Colony so the times haven't quite caught up to us yet. Anyway, my father Thomas really seems to want me to name Sarah Good and Sarah Osborne as witches. Ever since my friend Betty started getting sick- she's been running around screaming, contorting herself, and all sorts of things- my dad has been very suspicious that I might be sick too. He keeps checking on me if I'm ever acting up. Like the other day I was gathering firewood and out of boredom started dancing. It must not have looked too good because he thought I had the same contortions that Betty had and kept asking what witch afflicted me.

Anyway, here's the real question- I think its possible there are witches after me and as a good Puritan, its my responsibility to call it out. And if it were anyone, Goody Osborne and Sarah Good are likely suspects. I heard that before Betty started to show signs of witchcraft afflictions, Sarah Good visited her house to beg for help. Even though Rev. Paris was kind to here, Sarah Good still walked away cursing at them. So even if I don't know she's a witch, she seems suspect. And Good Osborne might be too. I don't know her personally but our house is small so I hear my parents complain about her all the time. I'm not sure what she did, but I think she and her recent husband tried to steal land from us. She was married to my dad's Aunt Rebecca's brother but he died and Goody Osborne remarried her indentured servant. I don't know if she's a witch, but my parents seem to think so. When my dad asks if I'm afflicted with witchcraft, he also asks "Is it Sarah Osborne?" If he thinks she's a witch, she must be one.

I don't know if either women are witches, but my dad seems pretty serious about making the accusations. And it seems like they could be. I also don't want to not accuse them and be wrong since God will punish all of us for allowing witches to live in our community. I'm scared there might be more too- like the rumors I hear about Bridget Bishop. If I don't make accusations and they are witches, I'm definitely TA, and if I do make the accusation and they aren't witches, no one will hold me accountable since I'm trying to stop Satan. Abigail and Mercy said they'd also come down with afflictions and support my accusations if I choose to do it. So Reddit, WIBTA if I accuse neighbors of witchcraft to try and stop the Devil from destroying God's Kingdom?

TLDR- Neighbors might be witches. Better safe than sorry to accuse them and make sure there are no witches, but WIBTA?